Captain Swan Christmas Countdown
by leatherrumandthesea
Summary: A series of unrelated winter one-shots. Most come from a list found on Tumblr, some are original ideas.
1. the girl with no name

Based on the song His Favorite Christmas Story by Capital Lights

* * *

Killian Jones frequently spent Christmas alone, but that could be blamed on his work. He spent most of his time moving from town to town along the coasts selling boats, and as such his house in Boston was hardly used. This year he found himself at Christmas party being thrown in the lobby of the hotel in Maine he was staying at, and he was thinking very seriously about ducking out early when he saw _her._

The woman standing across the room was a vision. Her golden hair was elegantly curled and pinned up from her face, and she cut quite the figure in her red dress and lipstick to match. She was strikingly beautiful and he felt the sudden need to hang around for a while, if only to see who she was attending with.

But as time passed, he began to realize she didn't have a date. She was standing with two people, who were very obviously a couple, and she looked the definition of the third wheel. Finally, after more than half an hour of watching her, he found himself weaving through the crowd towards her.

 _Here goes nothing_ he thought, clearing his throat. "Excuse me," and he almost lost his nerve when her green eyes flashed to meet his and bloody hell she was so beautiful. "I was wondering if perhaps I could have the honor of a dance with you?" he asked, the knot in his stomach sinking when her eyes flashed with uncertainty.

Her friend, a woman with short dark hair, pushed her shoulders gently and whispered a gentle "Go," and when the she put his hand in his and he led her to the dance floor in the center of the room, Killian felt as if the world had somehow gotten brighter.

"I admit, I was a little uncertain there for a second, love. I've been working up the courage to ask you for a while now," he said as he put his hand gently on her waist.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to either. You can thank my friend for that," she said with a cautious smile.

"Tell her I am forever grateful," he returned her smile and she softened even more.

The next few hours he spent with her flew by. When she told him she had to take a break from dancing because "her feet were killing her," he moved to let her go but she tightened her grip on his hand and pulled him to the side of the room with her to find somewhere to sit.

He learned that the people she was with were her college roommate and her friend's fiancé, and that she had spent the first few years of her life in foster care. He learned that she liked cinnamon on her hot chocolate and that autumn was her favorite season because of the colors.

At three in the morning they were the last ones in the room, dancing to music in their heads because the band had already packed up and left, with hotel staff working to clean up from the party. Her head was on his shoulder, her nose settled into the crook of his neck, and his nose in her hair and he didn't want to ever let her go. She pulled away first and he saw she was reluctant as he to walk away.

When the cab he called for her arrived and he opened his mouth to tell her good night, she leaned in to kiss him. He learned that a simple press of her lips against his could make stars erupt behind his eyes. Everything seemed to stop and the world made sense. He chased her lips when she pulled away too soon, and she lingered a few moments longer with her forehead pressed against his. Her breath was warm on his lips when she whispered good night and he lingered outside for a few minutes after the cab took her away, still feeling the electricity that had run between them and the touch of her on his lips.

It wasn't until he had settled into his bed and was drifting off to sleep that he realized that out of all that he learned about her, he had never learned her name.

~K&E~

Three years to the day since he had met her, and he still hadn't seen her again. No one at the hotel knew who she was because she wasn't a guest, and he had similar luck asking about her companions.

This year he was sitting in a small family owned diner somewhere in New York, brooding. The young waitress, Ruby according to her name tag, sauntered up to refill his coffee cup.

"Any particular reason you're alone and at a diner on Christmas?" she asked, causing him to smile. He could appreciate her bluntness.

"I travel for work. This is a frequent occurrence for me," he indicated his plate of food.

"Oh, I've always wanted to travel and see the world. Have you been anywhere exotic? Have you ever seen a lemur? Tell me a story about somewhere you've been," she said, flopping down across from him in the booth. Not that it mattered, he was the only one there.

"I stay along the east coast, so no lemurs, no," he chuckled, then started thinking over all the stories he had from his work. Surely he had many, but only one took form and came to the forefront of his mind, and he smiled.

"There's only one story I can think of. It's about a girl with no name. I met her at a Christmas party three years ago. She was so beautiful, so much so that I'm pretty sure I forgot to breathe when I first saw her. I spent a while working up the courage to ask her to dance and when I finally did and she accepted, it was perfect. We spent the rest of the evening together and by the end of it I was half in love with her. I never asked her name though, and I haven't seen her again," he finished.

"Why can't I meet someone like that," Ruby said, more to herself than to him. "But you have tried looking for her, right? Do you think you'll ever find her?"

"I've been looking for her ever since we parted. And yes, I'll see her again. I don't know how I know it, but I do." He looked up at the clock hanging behind the counter. "I really must be heading out, I have a train to catch. But it was lovely talking to you, Ruby," he said pulling on his coat and placing some bills on the table to cover his bill.

"Thanks for the story. I hope you find her someday."

"Oh I will, the question is when," he winked at her before stepping out the door into the cold December air.

~K&E~

Five minutes later, the door to the diner flew open again and Emma Swan stormed in, her cheeks flushed from the cold as well as exertion.

"Ruby I am so sorry, Mary Margaret and David were stuck in traffic and I couldn't leave Henry alone," she rushed to explain, trading her winter coat for the red apron she wore around her waist and pulling her long blonde hair up and away from her face.

"It's not like he'd get into trouble, that boy is the most well behaved five year old I think I've ever met," Ruby teased. "But it's really no trouble, it's been slow around here anyway. Although if you had been on time, you would have met this really attractive guy. I mean he's basically in love with this girl he met a few years ago, but he was still nice to look at."

Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby's antics. "No matter how many times you try to set me up, you know Henry is the only man I have time for right now," she said.

"I know that's what you've said, but there has to have been at least one guy you've met since Henry was born that made you reconsider," Ruby pushed, and started pulling on her coat.

Emma froze, and for a second she was a million miles away, remembering dark hair and the bluest eyes she'd ever seen and a kiss that had stuck with her for the last three years. It was all the answer Ruby needed. "You're thinking about him right now, aren't you?" she smiled.

Emma shook her head, returning to the present. "It doesn't matter now, I haven't seen him in years. I can handle everything here, you go home and enjoy the rest of the day," she nodded towards the door, smiling gently at her friend. Her smile dropped the moment the door closed, leaving Emma alone with her thoughts lingering on the handsome stranger that had no idea how much he had changed her life.

~K&E~

Killian's meeting with Ruby spurned his desire to find his mystery dance partner even more. More than once he returned to where they had first met, hoping she had the same desire to see him again and would think the same way he did. He continued his travels, constantly on the lookout for her, in every town, in every face he passed at every train station because he just knew he was going to see her again, some day.

Every time someone would ask him for a story, he would tell them about her. Part of him hoped that perhaps she would do the same and someone, somewhere would recognize their story and would tell him that they knew her and be able to help him find her, but no such luck. He would get an encouraging smile and an "I hope you find her again," and that was it.

Over twenty years had passed since that night, and he decided it was time for him to stop his travels. He was getting older and wasn't as energetic as he used to be so he retired to his house in Boston that had barely been used for years. Neighbors came to introduce themselves and brought their kids along to be friendly, and their reluctance to be dragged along by their parents quickly changed to enthusiasm when they heard some of his stories. Soon he found it was a regular occurrence for a one or two to come by and ask for one, and he didn't mind. He had no one else anyway.

It became somewhat of a tradition that every Christmas Eve, all the kids in the neighborhood would gather at his house and he would tell them about the girl with no name that he had met decades ago. He told it so often he was pretty sure most of them could quote it. Every year, at least one would tell him that this would be the year he would find her and every year he would feel hopeful again.

~K&E~

It had been over twenty years since Emma had met him, and she felt every one. A couple times she tried returning to the place they had met in the hopes of finding him, but either he didn't think to do the same or maybe he just didn't feel the need to see her again like she did him. She instead focused on her going to school while taking care of Henry and afterwards she found work at a hospital in Boston. Every year, she would go to David and Mary Margaret's house on the other side of town and celebrate with the two of them and their family.

One year, she was almost plowed over by two kids running down the sidewalk in front of David and Mary Margaret's house, one of them yelling at the other for making them late. For what, Emma didn't know.

She didn't bother with knocking when she got to the door, instead walking in and straight to the kitchen where she knew Mary Margaret would be trying to keep David away from the food.

As expected, David was trying to steal some of the cookie dough Mary Margaret was in the middle of preparing when she walked in. Her entrance distracted his wife long enough for him to steal a small bite from behind her back.

"Emma, we're so glad you could make it," Mary Margaret exclaimed, enveloping Emma in a warm hug.

"I almost didn't, two kids ran into me just outside. Seemed like they were late getting home for dinner or something," she said, returning her friend's embrace.

"Actually, there's this man that lives a couple streets away that used to travel a lot. They were probably on their way to his house to listen to his stories. They do this every year," David said, looking up from the bowl of cookie dough, from which he had stolen another bite.

"He must have some exciting stories then," Emma replied, pulling off her coat and draping it over the back of a chair. "Henry called, he's going to be a little late, but he promised he'd be here."

The rest of the night went just like any other Christmas Eve with her friends. They and Henry were her family, and all she really needed.

~K&E~

Another twenty years had gone by, and Killian knew he didn't have much time left. He was old and weary and his heart couldn't handle much more. It was Christmas morning, snow was falling outside the window and all over the city there were families together and celebrating. The children from his neighborhood had their own children now and he was alone. For the first time in years, he felt hopeless.

He still hadn't found her, and perhaps there was some life after death that he would see her in because this just couldn't be how it ended.

A nurse walked into his room to check on the machines monitoring his heart. She was about his age, but he could tell she had been absolutely stunning in her younger years. "How are you feeling, Mr. Jones?" she asked.

"I could be better, but seeing you sure has brightened my day just a bit," he winked.

She laughed, turning from the monitors to face him. "The other nurses warned me about you, sir, say you flatter every one of them."

"They're not you. I haven't seen you before, what's your name?" he asked, wanting to keep her there as long as possible just so he would have someone to talk to.

"Emma. I only come in a couple nights a week, so that's probably why you haven't seen me before." she smiled down at him.

"Emma," he repeated. "Lovely name for a lovely woman," he said, causing her to laugh again.

"Is your family coming in to see you today?" she asked, and his smile faltered just a bit.

"Actually I don't have any family. I've been on my own for a while now," he said, trying to keep his tone light, but he saw her face fall.

"Well, my shift is over in twenty minutes. I can come back if you'd like," she offered. He told her he would like that very much.

~K&E~

Emma knew all too well what it was like to not have family. For years she had no one and those years had left a permanent mark on her heart, to the point that she couldn't stand the thought of anyone else being alone. Especially on Christmas. Plus, there was something that was drawing her to Killian Jones in room 311.

She returned to his room and found him resting, just as she'd left him. He was obviously hurting and he looked so tired. She knew it would be a miracle if he made it through another night, and she decided she wasn't going to leave him.

He smiled when she approached him, and she settled into the chair next to his bed and reached for his hand.

"How about a story, lass? I'm sure you have many from working in a hospital," he asked, and she knew he was seeking a distraction from the pain he was obviously in.

Her mind ran through all the years she had been a nurse, but she felt the need to tell a different one. She hadn't told anyone about her mysterious dance partner in years. Not since David and Mary Margaret and once when Henry asked, but she wanted to tell Mr. Jones the story.

"Once, before I was a nurse, I was at a Christmas party in Maine with my friend and her fiancé, but I was feeling really out of place. Then this man came up to me and asked if I would dance with him. My friend pretty much accepted for me, but I'm so glad she did. We danced the rest of the night and they practically kicked us out so they could clean up. I never caught his name, but I've always felt that if I had gotten to know him more my life would have been different. I never found him though, so I'll never know," she told him the story, and his eyes slowly filled with tears as she spoke.

He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on her hand. "That's a lovely tale, lass. Perhaps you'll see him again, one of these days," he said.

"I hope so," she sighed. "I've spent the last forty years half in love with a man I don't even know his name. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"I'm pretty sure I can relate. I've spent that same time searching and half in love with you too," his voice quivered when he spoke. It took her a moment to understand his words, but by that time his eyes had fallen shut and his chest stopped rising.

~K&E~

His funeral had been small; he wasn't lying when he said he didn't have any family. A few young people came, saying they had listened to his stories for years. When they found out who she was, they told her he had always had hope that he would see her again someday. She only regretted that she was too late.

A week after he was buried, Emma found herself standing by his grave, both thanking it for giving her closure and cursing it that she hadn't found him until he was on his deathbed. A cold wind stirred across the grass and whipped her now-grey hair in her face, and she felt a sense of calm come over her.

She realized she was feeling what the then-children had been talking about before, about knowing he would see her again. She hadn't felt it, that sense of knowing, for almost half a century but she did now. Somehow, she would see him again, because when two people felt as they did, there was no force in the world that could keep them apart forever.

With a watery smile, she laid a single rose on top of the stone before she turned and walked away, feeling lighter and warmer than she had in years.


	2. Pirates Like Tinsel

Canon Universe.  
Prompt: Tree Decorating

* * *

Killian was making it really difficult for her to not throw up her hands and say to hell with decorating. It was as if he was trying to get on her nerves.

It had all started when Henry had told him what mistletoe meant, and Killian had proceeded to hang some from literally every doorway in the house. Front door, back door, hall closet, their bathroom.

Every. Single. One.

(and okay so that one she hadn't particularly minded, but it was the least of his transgressions)

They were currently shopping for decorations, because once Killian had learned about more of this world's Christmas traditions he had insisted the two of them and Henry decorate as a family and he really knew how to play on her emotions. Plus he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have a tree indoors. And now he was fighting her on everything.

 _"Why would you want a fake tree when you could have a real tree? Inside!"_  
 _"This one comes with lights already on it, doesn't that feel like cheating?"_  
 _"Why would you want garland instead of tinsel? Tinsel is shiny and you should know how much pirates like shiny things."_

Presently, they were arguing (okay so she was the only one arguing, but he was being ridiculous) over which ornaments they should get. After a full fifteen minutes, in which Henry stood between them watching like it was a tennis match, she finally relented and allowed the red and gold ornaments he insisted on.

"Okay, now we should see about a tree skirt," she huffed, hoping this decision would go smoother.

"Why would a tree need a skirt, Swan?" he asked and she groaned, knowing it wouldn't be as easy as she hoped.

Another five minutes later ("Killian the colors have to match, so if you want the blue one, we're getting the blue and silver ornaments I liked), they were preparing to check out when Henry asked about the star for the top.

And oh boy, did that take forever. Seriously what was his deal with wanting the red ornaments but blue everything else? Blue tree skirt, blue star, but no blue ornaments? Really?

It was a good thing she loved him so much.

Eventually they made it home and it felt like nothing short of a miracle.

Henry set to work helping Killian set up the tree (and yes, they did get a fake one because she was not going to spend the next three weeks vacuuming up fallen needles) while Emma went about the smaller things around the house.

About half an hour later, Emma's phone chimed with a text from Regina. The mayor and Robin were planning their own decorating and the two women had agreed that Henry should be present for both of theirs.

I have both the kids in my car, would you mind sending Henry out?

She stuck her head into the living room. "Henry, your mom is here, grab your stuff," she said, typing out a quick response to Regina. She walked him to the foyer to see him off, waving to both of them from her front porch before turning back to the warmth of her house. Killian was right where she left him, in the process of hanging ornaments on the tree. The only problem was he was going about it all wrong.

"Killian the tree is eight feet tall, you can spread the ornaments out more," she said as she walked across the room. "You have them all at eye level," she explained, coming beside him to move one of the ornaments more towards the top of the tree.

She worked next to him for a few minutes before going to the kitchen to retrieve the bag with their stockings in them. When she came back into the living room, she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes because he just had to be doing this on purpose. Why else would the entire top half be red and the bottom gold?

"Killian Bartholomew Jones, are you trying to annoy me?" she huffed, tossing the stockings on the couch as she passed.

The barely concealed smirk on his face was all the answer she needed.

"Bartholomew?" he raised an eyebrow in question.

"I don't know, but it fits and it's staying," she bumped him out of the way so she could go about arranging the ornaments herself.

"Why exactly were you trying so hard to get on my nerves?" she asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

The smirk on his face proved he obviously didn't regret a thing he had done. "I have a bet going with your father. Right now he's probably wrapping everything in the loft in tinsel or eating all the popcorn of the strings so your mother is left with only cranberries," he grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

"Can I ask why you two thought it would be such a wonderful idea to make me and my mother want to rip our hair out?"

Killian shrugged. "I mentioned we were going to decorate, he mentioned how your mother was already a nervous wreck over it. I said that it was a bigger deal for us since it's our first Christmas as a family and that you would probably be more obsessive than your mother and he disagreed. It developed from there. But you know how I love a challenge, what was I to do when he offered one?" he winked at her.

"Why do I love you so much?" she questioned jokingly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and running her hands through the hair at the nape of his neck.

"It probably has something to do with my cunning wit and dashing good looks," he fired back with his signature grin.

Emma chuckled. "Hmm yeah, that's probably it," she said, leaning in for a chaste kiss that left her breathless all the same.

Afterwards when they had finally finished decorating, they stood back to assess their work with his arms wrapped around her waist from behind and his chin on her shoulder.

"I still think the blue star would have been a better option," he whispered, and the responding slap on his shoulder was half-hearted at best.


	3. Fitting Room Flirtations

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "I'm working in the fitting room on Christmas Eve and you keep coming over here, it's been two hours, why are you here?"

* * *

Working retail was a special kind of torture, but someone had to do it. And Emma Swan was every manager's dream employee. She was a grad student working on a law degree, but since the semester was over, she was available any time. It's not like she had any reason to request off work. She had no family to speak of, and her friends had all gone home for winter break. Mary Margaret and Ruby had both invited her, but she hadn't really felt the desire to spend the holiday with a happy family when she didn't have one. So she spent her free time alone in the apartment she shared with her two friends watching Netflix.

Which is how she ended up working an eight hour shift on Christmas Eve. In the fitting room no less. Talk about being an island. There were maybe three customers in the store and she still had three hours until close. It was going to be a long night.

Speaking of customers, there he was again. The guy had to have come by to try stuff on at least four times and he'd been in the store for over two hours.

He was incredibly attractive (she wasn't blind) with the startling blue eyes surrounded by long lashes, and dark hair that looked disheveled enough that it looked unintentional, but just barely. He had scruff on his jaw and eyebrows that acted of their own accord when he would grin at her. Which was often.

He always brought in only a couple things and would leave to return with a completely different ensemble. She didn't mind on busy days, but she was craving something to do and if he wasn't going to get something the least he could do was allow her to put it back on the rack. And not keep asking her opinion on everything (she wasn't necessarily complaining about an excuse to examine him head to toe, but it was still annoying).

"Last time, love, and I swear I'll stop bothering you," he said, holding out his hands for her to count his items and give him a number.

"Who said you were?" she asked, suddenly defensive. He wasn't bothering her necessarily, it's just that she wanted stuff to do and he wasn't letting her have stuff to do. Slight irritation at most.

"You don't realize it, but you're quite easy to read. Something of an open book."

She stared after him as he took the plastic number from her fingers. The entire time he was in the changing room she was contemplating what he said. Open book? Hardly. She had learned from foster care and from having her heart broken how not to show emotion and she was good at it.

He emerged from the room and she was a little disappointed he wasn't wearing a new outfit for her to critique.

"What do you mean open book?" she asked, before he could even open his mouth.

His eyes danced with mischief as he grinned as if she had played right into his hand.

"As I said, you're easy to read. Don't be too worried, to the common man you are very much a mystery.

She wasn't going to admit that she was impressed, but she was impressed. "Well, Detective Holmes, I think you need to work on your observation skills," she said, and her smile was a little less customer service and a little more on the flirty side. The guy was hot, and Ruby would yell at her if she didn't take the opportunity.

"It's Killian, actually. Killian Jones," he said, handing her the plastic number. His smile said he definitely knew she was flirting with him.

"So, Killian, why are you out so late? I mean, it's Christmas Eve, shouldn't all your shopping be done already?" she asked.

"My life exists in a dull cycle of work and home. Other than the typical gifts for work friends, I don't have to do much shopping. Which is actually pretty great because I don't want to break anything when my credit card bill comes in, unlike some people," he smiled. Emma laughed. She hadn't realized how close he had gotten until he crossed his arms on top of the podium she was working behind.

"No family you're close to then?" she blurted out, and she immediately kicked herself afterwards. She hated when people asked her that very same question, and the look on her face must have given her away because he deflected the question as well as she did when she got it.

"That, love, is a conversation better had when you are not on the clock."

She rolled her eyes at the thinly veiled flirtation. "Is that your way of hitting on me?"

"No, when I kept repeatedly asking your opinion on which jeans looked better, that was my way of hitting on you. This is me asking if you would like to get a drink with me," he grinned and she felt herself blush because she definitely hadn't minded critiquing jeans.

Then she realized that he had actually asked her out and she really didn't know how to respond. Sure she had been to bars a few times to snag the occasional one night stand and had gone on a few blind dates to appease Ruby and Mary Margaret but an actual date where she knew who she would be with before she met them? Not her style. So she did what she always did when faced with anything involving feelings. She resisted.

"I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here, aren't I? If I say no, you know where I work. You could just keep showing up here and stalk me."

As she spoke, his smile changed into a more knowing one. "Remember what I said about being an open book? You've been hurt before and you're afraid to trust me," he said, and she stared at him with an open mouth because it had taken this stranger all of ten seconds to see right through her.

"In any case, you know my name, so you know who to report to the police if I start hanging around you too much. Have a good night, love," he turned to walk away and something in her told her to stop him.

"Killian, wait," he turned back to her immediately. "We close at eight. I can meet you at The Rabbit Hole downtown at 9. Do you know it?"

"Aye, I know it. I'll be the dashing one waiting at the bar." His words were flirty but his eyes betrayed his obvious joy that she had agreed.

"Wear that black Henley you had earlier. and roll the sleeves up, girls love that," she grinned, suddenly anxious for her shift to be over.

"You know, I do typically like to know the name of the lovely woman that I intend to get a drink with," he said.

Now she really couldn't help but roll her eyes. "My name is Emma. Surely you've seen my name tag at least once in the billion times you've come in here," she joked.

He chuckled. "Perhaps I did, in the twelve times I came over," he emphasized, "But I thought I'd be a gentleman and let you tell me on your own terms. Emma." She shivered despite the warmth she felt when he said her name.

Her eyes flickered to his lips for split second, but it was enough that he caught it. His tongue came out run across his bottom lip and

"See you tonight," he said, holding her eyes while he backed away from her slowly, before turning to walk to the registers.

* * *

He was right where he said he would be, and she had to admit it was a pleasant surprise. She refused his offer to pay for her drink, just like he refused her offer to accompany him home. He didn't even kiss her. For that, he waited until New Year. Sometimes clichéd traditions aren't so bad.

And next Christmas Eve she had a reason to request off work, with a ring on her finger the next day to prove it.


	4. Cocoa for Your Troubles

"I know we hate each other but it's Christmas Eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside."

* * *

Emma Swan is starting to think she has the worst luck. All she wants, _all she wants_ , is to be on a plane right now to Minnesota to visit her mother, but a blizzard blew in and her flight had been cancelled. Not delayed, cancelled. The storm was scheduled to blow over during the night, but she still lost a day with Ingrid. Emma rarely got to see her mother anymore, with her busy schedule as a social worker in Boston, and she was a little frustrated (okay maybe a lot) that she has to wait another night to be home.

She's musing that at least her situation couldn't get any worse when she arrives back at the townhouse she shares with her friend Ruby only to find herself locked out. Her roommate's car is parked exactly where it had been when she left, so she has to be inside.

Five minutes of knocking later, Emma realizes that is not the case. Ruby isn't home and Emma is locked out in the snow. And Emma really needs to stop asking if her situation could get any worse because it seemed the universe wants to prove that it can.

"No such luck Swan. Your lovely roommate left about half an hour ago," an accented voice calls to her from the right. Turning, she finds Killian Jones, her obnoxious neighbor, standing on his front step in sweat pants and a t shirt. She's constantly complaining about him to Ruby, who tells her it's because she's got a crush on him. Which is totally not true.

Crush or no, her irritation is reaching new levels. "Really? I figured that out on my own, funny enough," she spats out. It isn't his fault, but he was the one who talked to her. She's tired, frustrated, and now freezing her ass off. She doesn't have time to put up with him.

"A friend of hers came and picked her up. Asian woman?" he raises an eyebrow in question, obviously hoping that means something to her.

Emma groans. "That's Mulan, her new girlfriend. They're going out of town together and Ruby has my key," she says, more to herself than to him.

"I know you hate me, but it's starting to come down hard," he says, looking at the darkening grey sky. "Why don't you come inside," he suggests, nodding toward his door.

She scoffs at the idea. "And interrupt your evening with whatever girl you have over this week? No thank you."

"I don't know where you get this idea that I'm a womanizing cad but rest assured you would be the only lovely lass I would be spending the evening with," he says.

She knows exactly where she got the idea. Her very first night after they had signed the lease, he had a girl over and his bedroom just so happened to share a wall with hers. His date seemed to enjoy the night, Emma did not. She wasn't about to tell him that though, for fear he would make an innuendo, or ask if she was jealous.

"Maybe it stems from the fact you flirt with anything with legs," she says instead, having to talk above the wind and shoving her hands deeper in her coat pockets.

"Only if they look like yours, Swan," he doesn't miss a beat. "Look you could try to drive in this to a hotel, but you'd have a hard time getting to one with your car and as much as you hate it, I care enough to not want you driving. Please come inside, Emma. I'll make hot cocoa for your troubles, you must be freezing," he's almost pleading now. His confession took her by surprise and she stands for a moment longer gaping at him before slowly nodding.

She finds herself walking up his front steps and into the awaiting warmth and she breathes a sigh of relief. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with the close proximity to him as she walks through the door, only the fact that she's not standing out in a snowstorm anymore.

"You can hang your coat in that closet there. If your socks are too wet I'm sure I have some you could wear to warm up," he offers, his hand casually brushing her back as he maneuvers around her in the entryway to move toward the kitchen and it's totally the newness of his touch that makes it feel like electricity.

"Thank you," she says, staring at his back in disbelief. She's so hostile toward him all the time and now that she thought about it, he had never lashed out in response, only flirted more. And now he was offering a warm place for her to sleep.

After she had shed her cold, wet clothes, she moves further into his apartment. She had expected it to be messy with pizza boxes and old takeout everywhere, but it's surprisingly tidy for a single man living alone. Well, _currently_ single man.

"Just take a seat anywhere, Swan," he calls from the kitchen. She sits on one end of the leather couch, looking around at his living room. There are two book shelves on either side of the TV that was mounted on the wall, one full of books, the other with an impressive music library. There are more books stacked on the coffee table along with what looked like a stack of half graded essays. She recalls Ruby telling her that he was a high school English teacher. She realizes that, just like every place she had lived before Ingrid had taken her in, this was just a house. Not a home.

Her inspection of the room is interrupted by his return, carrying two mugs of hot cocoa. She's surprised that the one he hands her had cinnamon on top, confused how he would even know that she preferred it that way.

Her confusion must have shown on her face because he pauses, his hand still on the mug and his fingers brushing hers. "Cinnamon, right?" he asks, clearly wondering if he had made a mistake.

"Year, no it's not that, I was just wondering how you knew," she clarifies, taking the mug and sipping the contents slowly.

"When you and Ruby were moving in it was chilly. That was when I introduced myself and offered coffee. You asked if I had cocoa and if so if I could add cinnamon," he explains, as if it wasn't a big deal that he remembered a tiny detail of a short conversation from months ago. "This was, of course, before you decided I was obnoxious and took every opportunity to tell me so," he smiles, obviously joking with her. It should _not_ make her feel so happy that he cared to remember this detail about her, no matter how small.

She settles for joking back with him. "Well that was before you started practicing your music every time I was trying to sleep," she teases, and from the look on his face he hadn't been aware of that. She quickly changes the subject. "And how did you even remember this?" she asks, indicating the cinnamon.

"Because I actually quite fancy you from time to time, when you're not yelling at me," he smiles, raising an eyebrow at her.

She rolls her eyes. "That doesn't make sense, I'm always yelling at you," she says, and she can't help the smile that's forming on her lips.

"You're not yelling at me now," he shrugs, but says no more in favor of taking a drink from his own mug. She uses his momentary distraction to stare at him. He's attractive, definitely. His dark hair is mussed up as if he's been running his fingers through it recently. The blue of his eyes was set off by the grey t shirt he wore, the v of the neckline coming down low enough to reveal dark hair on his chest.

"So, Swan," he startles her from her thoughts, and from the look on his face he knows exactly what she had been doing. "Why does your roommate have your key?" he asks.

She lets out a short laugh. "Ruby is amazing and I love her, but she is very forgetful. She lost her keys yesterday and we weren't able to get a copy made. We're both going out of town but she's going to be back before I am so I gave her mine. Just my luck my flight is cancelled," she muses.

"That sounds like something my mate Will would do," he settles deeper into the cushions on his end of the couch. "Were you going to visit family?" he asks. She's not sure exactly why she is telling him all this, only that it feels comfortable and right.

"My mother and cousins in Minnesota. I haven't seen them in months and I saved vacation time so I could see them more," she tells him. "I stayed as long as possible to get as much done before the holiday and I'm wishing I hadn't."

He hums as he's taking a drink. "You're a social worker, right?" he asks, and she nods. "How did you fall into that line of work?"

This is getting into dangerous territory. Normally she would make an off handed comment about wanting to help people, that she had always had a heart for kids, something that wasn't the full truth. But he was looking at her with genuine curiosity, as if he truly wanted to know who she was. "I grew up in foster care," she says, and he pauses, staring at her curiously. "I had pretty much given up on finding a home when Ingrid adopted me when I was fifteen. Six months later her sister and brother-in-law died in a car accident and she took in their two daughters. I swear that woman is a saint." She finds it easier to gloss over the majority of it than get deeper into the sad details.

He was looking at her, but not with pity. More like understanding, and she appreciated it. "What about you? How did you decide on teaching English?" she asks, purposely trying to move the conversation away from her.

His eyes light up and she can tell he loves his job as much as she loves hers. "My mother used to read to me all the time and I've loved books since I was a boy. It seemed like a natural profession for me to do," he shrugs.

"What about the music you're always playing?" she asks.

"I do apologize for that, Swan, I had no idea. And a man is allowed to have more than one interest, love. My older brother wanted to learn to play and so naturally I wanted to be just like him. He decided it wasn't for him, but I loved it and have been playing ever since," he says, smiling to himself, and she knows he's thinking about his family.

"Are they going to visit? Your mom or brother?" She regrets the question immediately because his thoughtful smile drops. He's not meeting her eyes anymore but she knows that he would have the same look of loss she's seen in her own for years. The one you get when you've been left alone. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize," she feebly tries to apologize, setting her mug down on the coffee table.

He clears his throat, "It's not your fault, love. I do believe I need a drink though, do you want one?" he asks, standing to take her now empty mug and his to the kitchen, and she knows in that moment that his walls are as high as hers and he's just as good at hiding his feelings. She nods at his question.

He returns with two glasses and a bottle of rum, pouring each of them a generous amount before settling back into the couch. She noticed he was closer than he had been before, and she didn't really mind. "So, do you want to see what's on Netflix?" he asks, smirking at her.

"I am not going to 'Netflix and chill' with you if that's what you're suggesting," she fires back, and his laugh is infectious.

"I also have Hulu if you'd prefer that," he says, to which she rolls her eyes.

"I'm fine with Netflix as long as you choose Friends and you groan at how annoying Ross is with me," she raises an eyebrow at him and he smiles.

"Deal."

Emma doesn't notice the next few hours passing. He groans at Ross in all the right places and thinks Phoebe is better than all the others. She doesn't tell him she agrees. At one point she shoves her feet under his legs to warm them up, turning down his offer for socks because he would move and her feet would be cold again. When she removes them, she only settles her legs across his lap, and his hand rests on her calf, his thumb occasionally rubbing circles into her jeans. Every once in a while, one of them will poor another glass of rum and she doesn't know if it's her own feelings or the alcohol or a combination of both that makes her want to be closer to him, but she does in any case.

His arm is stretched across the back of the couch behind her shoulders and she's drifting off to sleep, too tired to care that she's pressed against his chest and his hand is still on her calf.

"I have to admit I didn't take you for the cuddling type, Swan," he whispers.

"I'm tired and you're warm," she murmurs. It's easy to brush it off as if she's not extremely comfortable. "And just because everyone thinks I'm so unapproachable doesn't mean I am. I do care about things," she says and she should really stop talking but she's almost asleep. "I'm not going to set myself up to have my heart broken." The 'again' hangs in the air between them unsaid.

"Maybe you just need to take a leap of faith, love," his voice is muffled by her hair.

She barks out a short laugh. "You sound like my friend Mary Margaret. It's easy for her. She met her soulmate or true love or whatever her first semester of college and now she's engaged to the guy. It's harder when you've been left behind so many times."

His arm on the back of couch moves and his fingers start combing through her hair. "Believe it or not, I know exactly what you mean," he's so close his lips brush against her brow as he speaks.

She looks up at him, skeptical that he could know heartbreak like hers. Family was one thing, her past with _him_ was a whole other story.

"Her name was Milah. I met her about a year after Liam died. She was older than me and married, but we fell in love. She left her husband one night and was driving to come meet me. It was snowing and a drunk driver swerved in front of her and her car ended up rolling. She didn't make it," his voice is strangled and she can hear the pain Milah's death had caused so clearly. "It took a while for me to even get out of bed after that. Once I did, I moved here and started over."

She shuffles closer to him, her fingers knotted in his t shirt. "You didn't have to tell me about it," she whispers. She wants to stay awake, she wants to be able to offer some kind of comfort, but sleep is pulling at her and her eyes are drifting closed.

He turns his face closer to her and buries his nose in her hair. He breathes deeply as if trying to use the scent of her shampoo to ground himself. "I wanted to. It's strange, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. You should sleep, love," he says, pulling a throw blanket off the back of the couch to drape across them.

She's asleep moments later.

~K&E~

In the foggy moments between sleep and consciousness, Emma's first thoughts were questions of how she had ended up in a place that wasn't her bed. Then the events of the previous night rushed back her eyes shot open.

She is still pressed up against Killian, who is fast asleep. The old, familiar panic creeps up her throat because she has to get out, she can't do this. She doesn't stay the night with any of her one night stands, she sure as hell doesn't spend the night sleeping in the arms of her neighbor, who wasn't as obnoxious as she had always thought and who she's beginning to think she's never minded anyway. She has to get out, but they're pressed so close that she would wake him up if she moved.

But she has to go. Outside, the snow had stopped, which means she could get to the airport and get on a plane to Minnesota and get away from this man who had made her want to let him in and trust him. She wants to, which was exactly why she can't. He's dangerous to her.

With that thought in mind, she takes a deep breath and stands up. He groans as he's jostled and reaches to rub the sleep from his eyes. She takes the opportunity to quickly get to the entryway where she had left her shoes and coat the night before. She's in the middle of tugging on her second shoe when his voice calls from the living room.

"Emma?" he walks into the entryway, still in the process of waking up. He squints adorably and freezes when he sees her rushing to get out the door. "Swan, wait, at least let me get you something to eat before you go to the airport."

She shouldn't want to as much as she does. "I'll grab something on my way there. Thanks for letting me stay, but I have to go."

"You don't have to, you're just scared. Don't try to tell me that's not what this is. Last night-"

She can't hear more, can't hear the desperation in his voice. "Last night was an accident, I shouldn't have let myself get close to you. God, I can't believe I told you any of that," she mutters, realizing how much he could use against her. He knew so much about her now.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that someone might want you that you run as soon as you get close to anyone?" he asks, and she can hear the frustration in his voice. Good. If he's mad at her, he won't keep trying to push past her walls.

"You don't want me, Killian. If you knew the whole story, trust me, you would be pushing me out the door," she scoffs. It's happened before and she wouldn't be able to handle it if he did it, so instead she turns to leave.

There's a fire in his eyes as he stares her down. "No, the only one pushing you out that door is yourself," he says. She pauses with her hand on the doorknob, turning to face him. His jaw is set and the crease in his brow says anger, but his eyes are begging for her to not leave, at least not this way.

"I'm sorry," her voice is barely above a whisper, and she turns her back on him and walks into the bitter cold December air.

~K&E~

She caught the first flight to Minnesota and was in her mother's arms by late afternoon. Elsa and Anna had arrived the next day, bringing Anna's fiancé Kristoff with them. The first days of her visit were a blur of activity and catching up with her mother and the two women she considered sisters. But now that things had settled down, her thoughts were turning more toward Killian, and the look on his face as she had walked away from him.

She was sitting on the couch when Elsa sat next to her, handing her a glass of wine.

"What's going on with you, Emma?" she asked. "I know something is up, don't even try to deny it."

Emma sighed "After my flight was cancelled, I got home and I was locked out and my neighbor invited me in. I ended up spending the night," she says, trying to speak as nonchalantly as she can.

"The old guy from Italy?" Elsa asks and she obviously knows that Emma means her other neighbor.

"No, the other one. Killian," Emma says sheepishly.

"The one you're always complaining about because Ruby says you have a crush on," Elsa says, a smug grin at Emma's protests. They're half-hearted anyway. "And how did staying the night go over?" she asks.

"He was a perfect gentleman. And he's actually not that bad. We talked a little, watched Friends, and then I fell asleep. Nothing happened," Emma says, in her most convincing voice.

Elsa had known her and been basically her sister for years so she saw right through her. "Are you sure about that, Emma? It seems like there's something else…"

"I sort of fell asleep on his shoulder and when I woke up I panicked."

"And why would that cause you to panic?" Elsa pushed.

Emma knew why. Being with Killian had been easy and simple. She had felt comfortable and safe around him and she had been scared because of how much she had wanted to give in. "You know what happened with Neal. I can't go through that again, Elsa, I just can't."

"Emma, I know that you're scared. And I know you hate to hear this, but that fear is going to keep you shut off from the world. If there is any part of you that is telling you that you should give…whatever this…a try? I think you give it a try," Elsa says.

~K&E~

It's only after she's in her own room and unpacked that she allows herself to stop and really think about what Elsa said. It's harder to deny it when she knows he's potentially on the other side of the wall. Before she knows it, she's sitting up and pulling on her boots and out the door.

It takes pounding on the door and yelling to get him to open it. He looks as if he's hardly slept and a wave of guilt washes over her.

"Can I come in? Please?" she's shifting nervously on her feet, eyeing the heavy bags under his eyes and rumpled hair.

He hesitates a moment before stepping aside. "Why not. I am a glutton for punishment after all." She can tell from his voice that he's angry, and she can't fault him for it.

He follows her into the living room, but she doesn't sit down.

"I realized while I was home that you deserve to at least hear the story."

He freezes in front of her, a surprised look on his face. He recovers after a few moments and nods at her to start.

"When I was seventeen, I met Neal. He was older and he was the first guy that had ever really shown interest in me. I'd lived with Ingrid for years but sometimes I still felt like…like an orphan," she says slowly. The only people outside her family that know about this part of her life are Ruby and Mary Margaret. "The first few months with him were amazing, and I was in love with him. Eventually he became more demanding. He could ask to see me any time, but if I wanted to see him he was busy and if I got upset, I was being too clingy."

Her voice starts to waver because this is where it gets difficult. Killian's hand comes to rest on her knee and she takes it as a sign that he still truly wants to know. "At one point, I thought I was pregnant and I made the mistake of telling him. He blew up at me, said I had gotten pregnant on purpose to keep him around, that I would always be an orphan and that no one would ever truly love me. He said I didn't deserve him and then he walked out. Turns out it was a false alarm, but the damage had already been done," she finishes,

And it hurts so much to have to dredge up all those emotions again, to have to talk about the heartbreak of having someone you love throw everything you hate about yourself back at you. She only hopes her leap of faith is enough.

"He was right, Emma you don't deserve him," he starts, and her heart sinks and she's about to run out the door again because he just drove a knife into her chest, but he stops her with a gentle hand on her shoulder and a hand cupping her cheek. "You deserve much better."

A short laugh escapes her lips. "And you think that's you?" she asks.

"I think that's entirely up to you to decide, Emma," his voice is soft.

He's being so open and honest with her and she wants to trust him, so much. Elsa's words are echoing in her head and she realizes Ruby was right all along. So she doesn't think, just steps closer to him to press her lips to his.

He responds instantly, the hand not on her cheek coming around her waist to pull her body closer to his. His fingers move to knot in her hair and she opens her mouth to deepen the kiss. His tongue dances across hers and she never wants to stop kissing him.

He breaks the kiss, his forehead resting against hers. Her thumb traces the scar she's just now noticing on his cheek and her other hand is fisted in the front of his shirt. "Emma," his breath is warm on her lips, "Are you sure you want to go where this is leading?"

She pulled away enough that she could meet his eyes. He's looking at her with such hope and such genuine care for her like she's never experienced.

"Killian, I don't know exactly what I feel. But I'm willing to try. I want to try, if you are."

She didn't think she had ever seen a brighter smile than the one Killian was wearing. "Aye, I want that more than anything."

"Good," she whispered, before she leaned in to kiss him again.


	5. It Really Is a Wonderful Life

Canon Universe, around the same time as Day 2  
Prompt: "'It's a Wonderful Life' aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* "YOU MONSTER"

* * *

Getting to spend Christmas Eve with her whole family was so surreal for Emma Swan. She'd been bounced around so many times that most of her Christmases growing up hadn't been the happiest. She had often dreamed of her parents finding her, of explaining how it had all been a mistake, that they had wanted her, but it had never happened. And now everything was exactly how she had imagined it.

Okay so being with her son, her fairy tale royalty parents, and her reformed villain boyfriend Captain Hook was a bit of a stretch from what she had imagined, but it felt exactly like she had thought it would and that was really all that mattered. Everyone had gathered at her house because there really were too many of them to be clustered into the loft these days. Killian and her father were having a very serious discussion that was rapidly getting more heated with Henry playing referee while holding a sleeping Neal. Her and her mother were cleaning up from making cookies in the kitchen while Snow told her about something her father had done.

"He got into my box of wrapping supplies and put bows all over the loft. The walls, every clock on the shelf, the refrigerator, the carton of eggs in the refrigerator-"

"Hey, that one was funny," her father calls, looking up from his argument with Killian to defend himself.

Snow pointed the whisk she was holding at her husband and glared, not needing words to convey her message to behave himself.

"Swan, your father and I need you to help us decide something for us. Please tell your father that Christmas Vacation is better than A Christmas Story," he said, grinning at her father.

"That's not fair, if you ask Emma you have to ask Snow," her father interjected.

"Just for the bow incident, I agree with Killian," Snow said and her father looked affronted.

"And for the sake of making it difficult, I agree with Grandpa," Henry piped up, and Killian looked as if he had been slapped.

"Henry I thought we were friends," he muttered.

David put his hand on Henry's shoulder. "Henry knows a good movie when he sees one. Just admit you're wrong, Hook. I mean, come on how do you top the leg lamp?"

"With an exploding cat."

"Pink bunny suit."

"Exploding cat."

"The Chinese restaurant."

" _Exploding cat._ "

"You're both wrong, It's A Wonderful Life beats both of them," Emma had to yell to be heard above their argument. Everyone was silent for a few seconds before Henry piped up.

"I'm changing my vote, Mom is right."

"Me too," her mother said smiling at Emma.

Killian looked between all three of them. "I've never seen that one, actually. It sounds good, we should watch it."

Emma smiled at him. "I knew I loved you for a reason."

"We've covered this Swan. Cunning wit, dashing good looks," he grinned at her as she walked into the living room to put the movie in and settle beside him.

Thirty minutes in and he wasn't so ready to agree with her. "Swan you're horrible why would you do this to me?"

"Shhh, just keep watching," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

When George was standing at the water's edge Killian stiffened next to her and gave her a questioning look once again. She whispered another "Just keep watching," before turning back to the TV.

When it was over he turned to press a soft kiss to her forehead. "So was I right?" she asked, a hopeful smile on her face.

"Aye, love, you were right," he grinned, kissing the corner of her mouth.

Her parents left soon after, taking Henry with them to drop him off at Regina's house. Killian was still seated on the couch, looking deep in thought.

"Hey. I know that face, what's with the face," Emma said as she came to stand in front of him.

He sighed and tugged on her hand to pull her down to sit on his lap. "The movie. It's just that I know what it feels like, to think you don't have anything to live for. I was just thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't been born," he confessed, the self deprecating grin he wore so well gracing his lips.

Emma brought her hand to his cheek, tracing the faint outline of his scar. "But you were. And I sure as hell am glad. If it weren't for you I don't know where I would be. And I really like where I am."

"I have to say, love, it didn't seem like the kind of movie you would have enjoyed when you were younger," he said and she could hear the question behind his words. What does it mean to you?

"It wasn't for the longest time honestly. I mean George has a family and I didn't. Now though, now I can appreciate it. I have a good life," she said, pressing her forehead to his.

"Would you say it's a wonderful life, love?" he asked, pulling back to raise his eyebrow at her.

"Haha, you're so funny," she rolled her eyes before kissing him slowly. She broke the kiss but kept her eyes closed. "But yeah. It really is."


	6. A Case of Mistaken Identity

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "We were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we're just…staring… at each other…"

* * *

"Emma Marie Swan you better have a good explanation," a voice bellowed from the living room of her apartment, and she wondered for the hundredth time why she had given Ruby a key.

"That's not even my middle name," she said, eyeing her friend waltzing into her bathroom, not that either of them care. They did live together in college.

"Well you've never told me what it is and everyone's middle name is Marie, so I took a wild guess," Ruby said, tossing her long dark curls over her shoulder and crossing her arms over her chest. "Now explain yourself, missy. Why didn't you meet the guy Mary Margaret set you up with?" she asked, leaning against the door frame.

Emma groaned. "Do I really have to explain myself? I didn't want to go so I just didn't go. It's that simple."

"Emma, please. You haven't been on a date in months. And I mean a real date," she added, spotting Emma's mouth opening in protest. "Not the kind you go on when you are going to arrest the guy. And not the kind where you meet him there, leave together, and are home by morning."

Ruby had known her since college, and was aware of every inch of Emma's dating history, or lack thereof. She knew about the sleepless nights spent crying over a man who lied when he said he loved her too and how afterwards she had shut herself off from everyone save for a select few. She knew all of it and yet she was still pushing Emma to move past that as if she didn't know how fragile Emma's trust was, if it was even given. But Emma didn't particularly want to talk about it so she deflects, just like always.

"Look, I get that you care. But isn't Mary Margaret always saying that if something is meant to happen it will?"

Ruby met her eyes in the mirror. "You and I both know that you put more stock into going out and doing something yourself if you truly want it. So the question is why don't you want this?"

She was right of course. Emma had learned through years in the foster system that there's no such thing as fate or love at first sight and that true love was a precious thing to come by and was saved for a select few. And Emma wasn't one of them.

"Listen, I'd love to stay here and talk to you more about you interfering in my personal life, but I've got to go stake out some creep's apartment," Emma brushed past her. She caught Ruby's hurt expression and a small sliver of guilt wormed its way into her chest. Her friend just wanted to help; just wanted her to be happy. It wasn't her fault that Emma had always felt she did better on her own.

"Fine, I get it. Just…come out with us tomorrow night. I can call Mary Margaret and David and bring Belle along. It's been a while since we all hung out," Ruby offered. "We'll all try to keep the couple stuff to a minimum so you're not the fifth wheel, I promise." She had followed Emma to the living room and was watching her gather up everything she would need for the next few hours.

Emma smiled and nodded. "That sounds great. Text me what works for you guys and I'll be there. Promise," she said, holding the door open for Ruby to follow her out before locking it behind her.

* * *

Winter in New York was one of the worst parts of living in the city. Everything was cold and grey and people forgot how to drive, not that they were much better when there wasn't six inches of snow on the ground. It was particularly awful because the heater in her little yellow bug didn't work well, so she often found herself shivering on stake outs, gulping down thermoses of hot chocolate, and trying not to think about the fact that she could see her breath.

She sat for five hours outside of her target's apartment and had no luck. She'd finished the snacks she had brought with her an hour ago and she really needed to pee after the cocoa she had drank. But just when she was planning to come back another day she paused, seeing the brown eyed, dark headed man whose mug shot was sitting in her passenger seat walking up the sidewalk in a grey coat. She was out of her car in an instant.

His caught sight of her walking towards him and took off running into the park across the street. She was faster than he was, so he had to weave around to try to get away. She lost him momentarily in the crowd and was about to turn back and hope for another day when she caught sight of a man about twenty feet away with dark hair and a grey coat out of her periphery. She ran and grabbed the guy from behind, tackling him into the snow only to find confused, slightly angry blue eyes staring up at her.

The man on the ground looked up at her with interest and obvious appreciation. He didn't look angry anymore, more amused actually. His tongue came out to run along his bottom lip. "Not that I'm not slightly enjoying this, but a man likes to be courted first, darling," he said, and good Lord his accent alone was enough to make her flustered.

"Sorry, you-you are not who I thought you were," she stuttered. No, this guy was much more attractive than the perp. His hair was longer, stubble along his jaw, and God his eyes. Long, dark lashes framed the crystal blue and she swore she had never seen more beautiful eyes on a man.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she noticed he was still pinned to the ground underneath her. She blushed as she moved, instantly feeling the loss of warmth from his body. She stood, holding her hand out to help him off the ground. She could feel the warmth of her palm through her gloves and she withdrew her hand quickly once he was on his feet. "I am so, so sorry. I thought you were someone else," she said, realizing she had already said that.

He chuckled. "Must be a lucky man to have you chasing after him then."

"Hardly," she scoffed. "He skipped out on an assault charge and I'm bringing him in."

His smile faltered when she mentioned the assault, but he nodded at her in appreciation. "Seems like a dangerous line of work. But you seem like a tough lass, I'm sure you handle them all quite well."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Does flattery work on all the women you hit on after they tackle you?"

"Not quite sure it counts as flattery if it's meant as a genuine compliment, love," he grinned. She blushed slightly, but it could just as easily have been mistakenly attributed to the bitter wind.

She shook herself from her thoughts before they turned in a direction she wasn't sure she wanted. "I should get going. Someone should know that guy got away and I'm sure you were on your way somewhere before some crazy blonde chick tackled you in the park."

"It was a nice turn of events," he shrugged. He looked like he very much wanted to continue talking to her but she had to stop him. She had told Ruby just a couple hours ago that she didn't want anything serious and she knew if she started anything with this guy she would only end up wanting more.

"Well, sorry. Again. But I should go," her words were clipped and the friendly tone she had earlier was gone. His head cocked and his eyes seemed to be looking straight through her as he noticed the sudden change. She nodded a goodbye and quickly walked away before she could do something stupid like give him her name or ask for his.

* * *

The next night she found herself seated at the booth her group had all but claimed as theirs. Ruby had tried to convince her to wear one of the dresses she wore when she went to nab a bail jumper, but she had nixed that idea on account of it being 19 degrees outside. Plus, she wasn't planning on picking anyone up so it didn't really matter. She had settled on skinny jeans and a green sweater that revealed just a little bit of cleavage.

She had to admit, she was really glad that Ruby had suggested they all get together. While she saw all of them on a regular basis, it was a rare thing for the five of them to all be together, and she was loving it. David had gone to the bar to get them all another round and Mary Margaret was telling them a story about her fourth grade class.

"Alright, here you go," David returned, setting the glasses down on the table. "And everyone, this is Killian. We just started working together at the precinct," he said, and Emma almost choked on her beer when she looked up.

It was him. The guy she had tackled the day before in the park, the guy she had spent the rest of the day thinking about. The guy she was now praying wouldn't bring up their previous meeting in front of everyone.

David hadn't noticed Emma's reaction and continued as if nothing had happened. "Killian, this is my wife, Mary Margaret. And this is Ruby, Belle, and Emma," he indicated each of the women in turn, and Killian stopped to shake hands with each of them, grinning slightly when he got to Emma. His hand lingered just a little longer than necessary after he shook her hand. Thankfully he didn't say anything or seem too familiar with her to raise suspicion from any of the other people at the table.

"Killian, why don't you join us?" Mary Margaret asked, and Emma would have to be blind to miss the glance thrown her way. She gave her friend a warning look, but the invitation had been extended.

"If you're sure I wouldn't be intruding," Killian said, much more discreet when he looked at her. Everyone insisted it wasn't any trouble and he slid into the booth directly across from her.

Ruby jumped immediately into interrogating him over everything. What he did at the precinct (he was a detective on the same team as David), where he was from originally (London originally but he had moved to New York from Boston), why he had come to the States (he just wanted a fresh start). Killian charmed everyone and even Emma found herself being drawn in by his smile and the way he laughed easily. He joked with all of them, joined in when they started teasing David, earning himself a high five from Ruby.

"So how are you liking New York?" Belle asked.

Killian's grin grew slightly mischievous when he answered. "It's been great, though I have to say people here are always in such a hurry. I've been knocked to the ground a couple times, actually," he winked at Emma and she blushed at the mention of their first encounter. She really didn't want her friends finding out about that incident.

"What about family? Do you have any in the area?" Mary Margaret asked and Killian's smile dropped quickly it was like flipping a switch.

"No, no family around here," he said, and everyone seemed to pick up on the need to change the topic. Emma eyed him curiously, noticing the clench of his jaw and the slight crease between his brows. She knew that look meant that he was like her. He didn't have a family, or he had and he had lost it. He would understand what it's like to be left alone and her fingers itched to reach across the table and offer some gesture that told him he wasn't alone.

But that was something she couldn't do. She didn't do feelings, she didn't do deep relationships with people that weren't the other four people at the table. It was getting a little too hot for comfort and she just had to get out of there. She stood to pull on her coat and claim an excuse about needing to leave when David stopped her.

"Oh, Emma, I meant to ask, would you mind walking home with Killian? He lives in the same direction as you and still doesn't know the town yet," he asked, and it was a feeble attempt to cover up that he was trying to get the two of them alone.

She sighed, knowing protests would fall on deaf ears. In his defense, Killian was looking slightly sheepish at her friends trying to force them together, and he obviously hadn't been in on the plan. "Yeah, sure. I hope you don't mind walking, getting a cab on a Saturday night is near impossible."

He let out a small laugh before standing himself. He thanked everyone for being so welcoming before pulling on the grey coat she had seen him in the day before.

Once they were alone, the silence grew uncomfortable. Inside, they had the buffer of the group but here, now, it was just them.

He broke the silence first. "I should apologize for intruding, love. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to know you better, though."

She sighed. Knowing her friends, they would keep inviting him around (he already seemed pretty close to David) so she might as well be friendly with him. "What do you want to know?" she asked.

A wide grin stretched across his face. "Let's start with something simple. What's your last name?"

"Swan, Emma Swan." she said immediately.

"Killian Jones," he responded. "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue," she said immediately, startled that her answer had changed. It had always been red, and she couldn't think of anything recently that would have changed that. Except for the fact that Killian's eyes were blue but she wasn't going to go there.

"Green," he said, his smile softening when he met her eyes. "What's your favorite movie?"

"Princess Bride."

"Pirates of the Caribbean. What's you middle name?"

Her steps faltered but she kept moving forward. It wasn't like it was such a big deal, but it was a wall. Something her friends didn't know. She didn't know why but she had felt the need to keep at least some part of herself private, some little bit of herself away from them. Not that she believed they would ever hurt her, but if she told someone everything about her, it would only be that much easier for them to turn it against her.

"Emma?" his voice was soft, his hand on her elbow questioning if she was okay."

She inhaled deeply before shaking off the tenseness of her shoulders. "I'm fine it's just that's something that no one knows about me. Not even my friends," she said, nodding in the direction of the bar.

Killian's eyes filled with understanding and he nodded. "No one knows my favorite pizza topping. Having a secret no one knows about-it makes it easier to stay distant, doesn't it?"

Her mouth fell open at his observation. He knew her so well already and it should scare her but she was realizing more and more that it wasn't. In fact, it was rather soothing to know that someone could empathize with how she was feeling and wouldn't judge her for being so cautious to open up.

She nodded in answer, looking forward down the sidewalk, and although they were silent again, it wasn't uncomfortable anymore. Snow started to fall gently as they continued to walk. She realized about two blocks from her own apartment that she had no idea where he lived. "Do you know how to get to your place from here? Because I can't figure it out telepathically and you're going to have to tell me if you need help."

"It's just around the corner," he said, laughing softly at her comment. Suddenly, he took her hand and pulled her toward the park they were passing and walking her into the snow covered grass.

"Killian, what are you doing?" she asked, eyeing him as he released her hand to start scooping up snow.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm drawing you into a snowball fight as a way to flirt with you because I can't find another way to tell you I like you," he grinned up at her. She was standing stock still after his admission, eyes wide with astonishment. Right then, he straightened, pulling his arm back to throw his freshly made snowball at her.

It connected with her shoulder and brought her back to the present. She immediately started forming her own snowball and chased after him. She aimed for the middle of his back but ended up striking him in the back of the head, ice particles getting caught in his hair.

They chased each other for a while, laughter hanging in the air around them until she was breathless and her cheeks were burning both from smiling and the cold. Just when she was about to suggest they start walking home again, Killian grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off the ground and spinning her a few times before tackling her and pinning her underneath him.

Snow was stuck in his windblown hair, his cheeks red as were the tips of his ears. She opened her mouth to say something about how they really needed to stop meeting like this when she caught sight of the way he was staring at her. He was looking at her as if she was something incredibly precious, as if she were a mystery he couldn't wait to start solving. Her eyes flickered to his mouth and she instinctively wet her lips. The motion caused his eyes to darken and a whole different kind of heat ran through her blood at the sight.

He leaned down as if to kiss her, and he almost did. Instead, he turned his head at the last minute and brushed his lips across her cheekbone before dropping his hand from her waist. "We should continue walking back. It's getting colder and much as I would love to help you warm up, I don't think it's the best idea," he said.

She nodded and he rolled off her before extending his hand. He didn't release her hand after she was on her feet and she couldn't find it in herself to mind too much.

"This is me," he indicated the building they had arrived at.

"Me too," she said, shaking her head. She didn't believe in fate, but even she would acknowledge coincidence. What are the odds that she would tackle a guy one day and then find out he works with one of her best friends and lived in her building the next? That plus the fact that he had a way of seeing right through her and that he understood her so well because they were so similar should scare her, but it just didn't. She had told her friends time and again that she wasn't ready for a relationship but here she was hoping that maybe something would happen with Killian.

They ascended the stairs together, and he paused on the landing of the second floor. "This is me. If-if you ever feel like…I dunno talking or getting something to eat or whatever, I'm 206," he said, nodding down the hallway.

"I'm 311. Just so you know," she smiled, giving his hand a final squeeze before pulling away to walk to the next floor.

He started to walk down his hall before he turned back to her. "Emma," he called, and she stopped midway up the staircase. "My favorite pizza topping is pepperoni with extra cheese," he said.

She would normally be panicking, but she wasn't and it felt good. With him, it felt right. "My middle name is Ruth. Emma Ruth Swan," she smiled, and he visibly relaxed when she wasn't overwhelmed by his confession. "Night, Killian," she whispered, and resumed her way to her apartment. She heard his breathy "Goodnight, Swan" follow her up the stairs.

When she climbed into her bed, she checked her phone to find 27 texts from her friends, most of them Ruby. She typed out a quick message to each of them, saying she'd tell them about her walk with Killian later. The alarm clock on her nightstand read just after 2 am when she fell asleep, a smile on her face, and feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.


	7. Sometimes Cheesy Romance is Okay

Alternate Universe, continuation of yesterday's  
Prompt:Person A seducing person B into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall ("oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there?")

* * *

Killian Jones never thought he would be happy that he had been tackled.

He had been on his lunch break, walking back to the precinct, when he suddenly found himself pinned to the ground and the wind knocked out of him. Whoever it was had been about to be on the receiving end of a tirade when he looked up into the most stunning green eyes he had ever seen and he was already a goner.

He had known his mystery attacker was like him as soon as she shut down before his eyes. He had recognized the set of her shoulders as she turned to walk away that identified her as one who held the weight of the world for so long they had forgotten what it meant to be unburdened. He knew because he had it too.

When his palm touched Emma Swan's for the first time he felt something click and it felt as if there was a flashing sign hanging in the air telling him that she was special; that she should mean something to him.

He told her his favorite color was green when it had been red for years. He didn't try to deny the reason it had changed.

Tackling her had seemed like a good idea up until he found himself pressed against her, her golden curls fanned out around her on the ground and his hand gripping her waist. He wanted to kiss her so badly.

(He should have kissed her)

The afternoon after their almost kiss he found himself climbing the stairs to her apartment. The brass numbers of 311 seemed to taunt him as he stared at them, calling him a coward for not just knocking on the damn door.

"Are you going to knock or are you just going to stand there?" a voice called from within, causing him to jump.

The door opened and Emma Swan stood before him in black leggings and a light blue sweatshirt. He gulped, trying not to stare too openly at her legs. Thank God for whoever invented leggings.

"I heard someone pacing and had a suspicion it was you. I've been watching you through the peephole for the last five minutes," she said teasingly.

He raised his arm to scratch behind his ear. "Are you going to invite me in or are you going to laugh at me some more?" he asked. Her grin grew wider and she stepped back to allow him in.

Her apartment was slightly messy- case files were stacked on her table to the point she seemed to use her coffee table as a place to eat. Shoes were tossed haphazardly next to the couch and he imagined she would come home and flop down on the couch immediately while toeing them off. Her furniture all matched, and small accents of red were spread throughout the space. Slightly odd, considering she had told him her favorite color was blue, and he couldn't help the sliver of hope in his chest that she had changed her answer for the same reason he had.

He cleared his throat before looking back to her. "I thought perhaps I would take you up on your offer to come see you, Swan," he said anxiously. "Although if you're busy-"

"No," she cut him off quickly, her eyes slightly widened. "I mean no, I'm not busy. I had just been planning on watching Lost. Ruby says I need to so she can talk about it with me. I wouldn't mind the company," she offered, shifting nervously between her feet.

He was elated that she seemed to want to spend time with him as much as he did with her. "I'll order pizza?"

"Pepperoni with extra cheese," she grinned.

Four hours later he was still sitting on her couch, both of them entranced in the show. She teased him about his simplistic pizza topping and he asked why she would mess with perfection. He asked why her living room was red when her favorite color was blue and she blushed. She asked why he chose New York and he said it wasn't Boston. She didn't ask for an elaboration, so he didn't give one.

Shortly after 9 he stood up. "I have a night shift tonight, I really should get back to my apartment and start getting ready."

She looked a little deflated, but nodded anyway, following him to the door. "Thanks for coming over today, Killian. Binge watching shows is more fun if you have someone there with you."

"It was my pleasure, Swan." he said, his voice low and breathy. Her own breath caught in her throat and her eyes flickered to his mouth. She stepped closer to him and he was so close to leaning in to kiss her when the door opened behind him.

They jumped apart, and he rounded on a very smug looking Ruby.

"Oh, sorry Killian, I didn't think you would be here," she said with a wolfish grin.

He cleared his throat, scratching behind his ear. "I was actually just leaving. Work and all, you know?" he said, before turning back to back to Emma. "See you around, love," he smiled, before shuffling toward the door. After the door shut behind him he heard Ruby squeal and loudly beg Emma for an explanation, and joy surged in his chest.

Two weeks later he was getting really annoyed at the universe for interrupting every attempt he made to kiss her. Ruby walked into the apartment, David showed up the day Emma had brought them lunch at the precinct, she got a call from Mary Margaret about their holiday party, the list went on and on. Finally, he decided he was going to have to devise a plan to make sure the next time there were no distractions, and he would need the help of the distractions themselves. Her friends.

They were at David and Mary Margaret's apartment for the very party Mary Margaret's call had been about. Killian had gotten closer to David over the weeks he had worked with him and would genuinely call the man a friend. He had talked to David and Belle and both had assured them that they would keep their girlfriends and themselves inside for the duration of the evening so he could enact his plan.

Emma was absolutely stunning. All she was wearing were jeans and a grey sweater but was easily the most beautiful woman in the room. He kept stealing glances at her throughout the night and often found her doing the same. After a couple hours he saw his chance while she was talking with a bespectacled man named Archie and was obviously only maintaining conversation to be polite.

"Emma, come to the roof with me," he popped up by her shoulder. She was a little taken aback by his forwardness but she nodded and followed him anyway.

When they got to the roof, her eyes widened in shock. He had worked with David to string white lights around the terrace and create a canopy of sorts.

"Why did you bring me up here, Killian?" she asked in astonishment.

"I wanted to spend time with you. Is that so hard to believe?"

"No one has ever done something this elaborate for me before," she breathed, looking around. She stopped, looking a bit remorseful.

"Is something wrong, love?"

"It's just that… it's starting to feel a lot like there's something that's saying that this is a bad idea. I like you, a lot actually, but I can't let myself get involved with you if it's going to end badly," her bottom lip quivered slightly and he could see vulnerability in her eyes.

He took a step forward and she retreated. The walls he had seen start to come down were building again before his eyes and he hated it. "I like you a lot too, Emma. I want to try this, I want to take a chance. I know you're frightened because I am too. But I would rather end up losing you than to not know what it's like to be with you in the first place."

His phone rang and he let out a string of muttered curses before pulling it from his pocket to turn it off. When he looked back to Emma she was nodding to herself as if her fears had been validated and she hated that they were. She turned to walk back to the apartment.

"Emma wait-" he started, reaching for her arm.

"No, Killian you should take that, it could be important," her eyes were far away and watering slightly.

"Maybe. But you're more important," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and guiding her two steps backward. "Look up."

She looked at the mistletoe he had hung from one of the strings of light and a short, breathy laugh escaped past her lips. "You realize that's incredibly cheesy, right?" she asked, amused.

"My favorite color was red up until about two weeks ago when you tackled me. Any guess as to why I said green?" he stepped closer, his fingers toying with a strand of hair that fell around her shoulders.

She leaned into his touch and she was so close her lips brushed across his when she spoke. "Probably for the same reason I said mine was blue," she breathed.

Before anyone could come up the stairs, before another phone could ring, or a car backfire, or anything that would interfere, he pulled her in to close the distance and slant his lips over hers. She responded immediately and he had never felt anything that compared to kissing her. There was a fire he had never felt before and he thought he was going to consume him. Her hair was soft when he buried his fingers in it and the soft moan she made when he ran his tongue along her bottom lip was music in his ears.

He didn't know how long he stood on the roof with her, but it wasn't long enough. He chased her lips when she pulled away, her breath mingling with his. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavy and she looked exactly how he felt. "We should be getting back," she said quietly, but she made no move to leave the circle of his arms.

"Probably," he agreed, stealing one more kiss before taking her hand and leading her back downstairs.

She stopped short and tugged on his hand. "Killian," she paused, waiting for him to meet her eyes. "I do want to try, but I'm still afraid of getting my heart broken."

"It's a good thing I don't intend to let you down, then," he said, hope brewing in his chest.

"Good," she whispered, and walked back inside, this time leading the way. He probably looked like a damn fool following after her with a dopey grin on his face, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.


	8. Maybe Christmas Miracles Are Real

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "You're in the hospital for the holidays so I came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room I love you Merry Christmas"  
 _AN: This went angsty because how could it not after that finale which I am still not over._

* * *

If dread had a sound, it would be the high, shrill noise of a phone ringing in the middle of the night. No one calls unexpectedly at three in the morning. Not for anything good.

"Is this Emma Swan?"

Terror. It wasn't a wrong number; not a mistake. "Yes."

"You're listed as Killian Jones's emergency contact. There's been an accident. You should get down here quickly."

* * *

 _"I'm Ruby, I'm a biology major, and my greatest fear is vampires."_

 _Laughter erupted from the circle. It was Welcome Weekend and most of the freshman class had gathered on the soccer field for ridiculous ice breaker games. Emma was sitting in a circle with seven other people, thinking that it wasn't as bad as she had expected._

 _"Vampires aren't real," a boy named Robin said._

 _"Actually, vampirism does exist. There was a woman named Elizabeth Bathory who bathed in human blood because she believed it kept her young, and Dracula was based on a real man named Vlad Tepes," the girl next to Ruby said. She received stunned silence from the circle. "Oh, sorry. Belle, English literature, and spiders," she said, looking to the boy on her right._

 _Emma had noticed him the moment he had joined their circle and sat straight across from her. Dark brown hair that was almost black and piercing blue eyes framed by long, dark lashes and an accent to die for made him easily one of the most attractive guys she'd ever met._

 _"Killian Jones, marine biology, and my greatest fear is dying alone," he said, punctuating the sentence with a smile to lighten the heavy subject. When no one quite knew what to say, he smirked. "Should have said the dark, right?"_

 _His joke lightened the mood and the circle continued._

 _Mary Margaret, elementary education, horses. David, criminology, drowning. Regina, political science, obscurity, until finally-_

 _"My name is Emma, and I'm a sociology major, she started before Ruby piped up._

 _"What do you do with a sociology degree?" she asked. Everyone had asked her the same question with varying levels of condescension, but Ruby looked genuinely curious._

 _She cleared her throat. "I grew up in foster care and I want to help kids like me," she said recognizing she did the same thing with her voice Killian had done._

 _Mary Margaret jumped to her rescue to avoid a heavy silence. "You didn't say your greatest fear, Emma."_

 _"Oh. Heights," she said simply._

 _When everyone else's minds shifted to the next topic, Killian's eyes lingered on her, and she felt as if he was seeing her down to her bones. They were alike and they both knew it._

 _Darkness. Heights._

 _Dying alone._

* * *

She spent the whole drive to the emergency room blaming herself and hardly remembered how she got there at all. She probably tore through a stop light or two but all she cared about was getting to Killian.

She was his emergency contact? Robin was his roommate, he was Belle's best friend, so why her?

She barely had her car in park before she flung the door open and her feet barely touched the ground she was moving so fast, and before she could fully realize that she was there, she was storming through the doors and up to the desk.

"My name is Emma Swan, I'm here for Killian Jones," she said hurriedly. The nurse at the desk nodded and opened a file on her computer. She wasn't fazed by Emma's panic, but working in an emergency room probably had that effect.

"He's in surgery right now. Why don't you have a seat and someone will be out shortly," she said, giving her best reassuring smile.

Emma huffed. "Is there anything else you can tell me?" She knew she was being unfair to the woman, but someone she cared about was hurt and damn it she needed answers.

"I'm sorry Miss Swan, I understand how frustrating this must be, but until we know more ourselves…"

"Okay. Thank you," she said, clipped and short before settling herself down on one of the creaky plastic chairs in the waiting area and hugging her knees to her chest.

Maybe if she wrapped her arms around her legs tighter she wouldn't tremble. Maybe if she pressed her eyes into her knees the tears wouldn't fall. Maybe she could stop herself from falling apart in an emergency room at three in the morning.

Maybe he wouldn't be hurt and possibly dying if she had been honest with him.

* * *

 _Friday nights meant she hung out with Neal._

 _It had become a tradition of sorts. The group that was going out would meet at her apartment with Mary Margaret and they would all go to Neal's and then the 24 hour diner around the corner at 2 am._

 _Killian rarely came out with them, always claiming a headache or a test or that he had a date. That night, however, Emma had insisted. He was her best friend and she needed him to get along with her boyfriend. He kept shifting positions on the couch, glancing around the living room, but Emma blamed that on being unfamiliar with Neal or the two friends he lived with. It was a bit of a different dynamic than their group from Welcome Weekend._

 _Mary Margaret stood up as the clock neared three. "Alright you all, in the car. Ruby, you have work tomorrow don't lie to me. Regina I know you're probably okay to drive but do not argue with me, I am not risking it," she scolded. Everyone had deemed her The Mom, and it was a title she wore with pride._

 _"Emma aren't you coming?" Killian asked when she didn't move from Neal's lap._

 _"I'm staying here actually," she said, noticing the sympathetic look Belle gave him. It wasn't his fault he didn't know she frequently stayed with Neal. Her sex life was more a topic of discussion with the girls._

 _His jaw clenched and if she wasn't mistaken his grip on his leather jacket tightened. "Apologies, I didn't realize," he muttered and if she didn't know any better she would say he was angry. He didn't look at her as he followed the rest of the group out the door._

 _"What's his problem?" Neal asked after they had all gone._

 _Emma shrugged. "He probably felt left out of the loop. He doesn't really hang out with us on Friday's so he just didn't know."_

 _"But you do see him a lot during the week. What, do you not talk about me to your friends?"_

 _She started to feel defensive. "Of course I do. I just talk more with the girls about relationship stuff and everything else with Killian."_

 _He seemed to be appeased for the moment because he breathed out heavily and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, babe. I guess I just want everyone to know you're mine."_

 _She grinned and followed him to his bedroom, not thinking about Killian and his odd behavior for the rest of the night._

* * *

"Killian Jones?" the doctor called out, and Emma was on her feet in an instant.

"How is he?" she asked without preamble. Fear was clutching at her throat and she just needed to know.

The doctor, Whale, looked sympathetic. "He was in a bad accident. The first responders said it looked like the car had rolled and they said it was a miracle he didn't die on impact."

"Impact with what?"

"There was a dead deer on the side of the road. They said he most likely braked or swerved to miss it and lost control of the car."

Or maybe he was distracted Emma thought. "How is he, is he going to be okay?" she asked, impatient and also terrified to hear the answer.

Whale looked at his clipboard, reading it off to her. "He has a few broken ribs and some lacerations. His left hand was pretty badly crushed in the wreck but we managed to save it. There will be some fairly severe scarring and nerve damage but he should be able to use it again eventually. We're more worried about the head injury."

She felt as if all the air had been sucked from her chest. Everything else didn't matter. Bones would heal, cuts would heal, even the damage to his hand was insignificant, but his head? "How bad?"

Whale sighed. "He had swelling in his skull and some fairly serious bleeding. We managed to get it under control, but he's in a coma. We did what we could, but if he's going to wake up, it's up to him."

If he's going to wake up.

The thought rattled around in her head. If.

"Can I see him?" she asked tentatively.

Whale nodded. "Of course, right this way."

He led her down a hall to the right and around a corner before stopping outside a door. "I'll warn you, he's pretty banged up," he cautioned, pulling aside the curtain to let her in.

She had never seen anyone look so fragile. Part of his hair had been shaved to the skin so they could operate, and he was covered in tubes and IVs. There were cuts on his face and arms and she couldn't help but blame herself. If she had only just told him she thought, quickly batting away the tears that spilled over to her cheeks.

"I'll give you some time. If you have anyone else you want to notify, it would be a good idea to call them," Whale said, before closing the curtain.

* * *

 _"Emma, it's our graduation party, you have to go," Ruby called from the living room._

 _She didn't have to do anything. All she wanted was to sit in her room and watch reruns of Buffy and maybe eat some ramen noodles. She had done it-gotten her degree and been offered a great job, but she didn't feel like celebrating because the shoe had finally dropped with Neal._

 _The day she passed her last test and officially earned her degree she went over to his apartment to surprise him, only to find him in bed with Tamara. He hadn't even seemed to care that she was hurt, accusing her of cheating on him, and begging that she not tell Tamara's boyfriend Greg. Like she cared._

 _A knock startled her from her cocoon of blankets to see Killian standing by her door. Somehow he had become even more attractive through college, growing scruff on his cheek and jaw. His elbow was propped against the door frame and the black leather jacket he wore in the dead of summer was in his other hand._

 _"Belle called me," he said simply, pushing off from the wall and walking ot her bed. "What's this about you not wanting to go to your party?"_

 _She snorted and scooted over so he could sit next to her. "It's not my part it's a party. And it's not like it's anything special, it's just the Rabbit Hole and then Granny's."_

 _He made a small noise of understanding. "You wouldn't happen to be hung up on the part about Granny's now, would you? Seems like poor planning on their part if you ask me," he said, nodding in the direction of their friends in the other room._

 _Of course he would see her so easily. That's what Killian did. When she was snapping at everyone, he asked what class she was stressing over. When Ruby had her music too loud, he brought her pain killers for her headache and ear plugs before sneakily turning the music down for her. When she fought with Neal he brought pizza and beer and let her rant without interrupting to suggest making up with him._

 _"Will you tell them that?" she asked and she felt like a child for being so petty but she also didn't particularly care._

 _"I've got a better idea," he slid his shoes off and they landed with twin thumps on her floor. "You and I stay here, I'll order pizza, and you can tell me about how Neal is an asshole. Or you could not talk about the wanker at all, it's totally up to you," he said, tapping her nose with his index finger._

 _She scrunched her nose at the gesture as if it irritated her (even though they both knew it didn't) and caught sight of his hand. "Killian what happened?" she exclaimed, sitting up to examine the bruises._

 _"Er…about that…If you see Neal around he is probably sporting a pretty ugly black eye. Not that the two are related or anything…" he said nervously, pulling his hand away to scratch behind his ear._

 _She smiled and shook her head in disbelief. "Well if you know who gave it to him, give them this for me," she leaned in and brushed her lips across his cheek._

 _"Ahem, well, I'm not sure I'm going to kiss anyone but I'll pass along the sentiment. That is if I come across who it was," he said as a blush rose on his cheeks._

 _She laughed for the first time in what had to be days. "Come on, you promised me pizza," she poked at his waist, knowing he was ticklish. When she was on her feet he hoisted her over his shoulder and ran to the living room, declaring himself victorious for getting her out of bed and she laughed even harder._

* * *

It had been seventeen days since Killian's accident. Everyone in their group had been by frequently in the beginning, but only Emma came consistently now.

She was sitting with Mary Margaret in his room, trying to talk about anything except the fact that he was still asleep and every day his chances of waking up grew slimmer.

"Has Milah been by yet?" Mary Margaret asked, taking a sip of coffee.

Emma felt a fresh surge of anger. "No. You'd think she would at least wonder why he hasn't called or something," she said through gritted teeth.

Mary Margaret hummed in agreement. "It's so sterile in here," she said softly. "I mean everything is so white and bland and clean looking."

"It's a hospital, Mary Margaret, what did you expect?" Emma bites out.

It's not like it's difficult to read the source of her frustration. "Oh Emma, he's going to wake up. You can't give up hope, it will be okay."

"How can you be so sure?" Emma scoffed.

"Because he has a family here that loves him. He's going to pull through because you and I both know he would never want to hurt the people he loves; people that love him."

All Emma can do is nod, her last conversation with Killian echoing in her mind and Mary Margaret either doesn't notice her distraction or chooses to ignore it. Instead she starts chattering about the decorations her fourth grade class made and how the classroom looks so happy and festive and full of life and it gives Emma an idea.

The next day she brings in a tiny red novelty Christmas tree and sets it by his window.

* * *

 _The first time Killian brought a date to their monthly group dinner was the first time Emma thought she might have made a mistake._

 _Milah did absolutely nothing wrong and yet Emma still felt anger clench in her stomach every time she touched Killian's arm when she laughed. She was tall and gorgeous and practically had vibrancy oozing from her pores. She had grey eyes and curly brown hair and was the opposite of Emma in every way. She didn't know why it bothered her so much that this was the woman Killian was dating._

 _She kept telling herself she was happy for him. He was charming and kind and courageous and deserved a wonderful life. He had been broken and let down more times than she could count and was still the most amazing person she had ever met._

 _But that didn't mean she had to sit around and watch him feeding her bites of his dessert._

 _She excused herself to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face to try and calm herself. The door pushed open and Belle's head peeked in_

 _"If it makes you feel better, no one else suspects you," she said, stepping the rest of the way through the door._

 _Knowing it was futile to dispute this with Bele, she sighed. "I don't know why I'm suddenly so angry, it's not like we ever dated…"_

 _"Ohh, Emma, you naïve woman," Belle said, smiling at her sympathetically. Emma raised her eyebrow, silently asking for an explanation. "You talked every day, you got dinner together all the time, he comforted you after Neal, you two were constantly touching each other to the point where Ruby once had us all convinced you were sleeping together. You basically were dating and you were the only one that was completely oblivious to the fact."_

 _She was the only oblivious one? So Killian wasn't? "But he never tried anything or brought it up…"_

 _"Emma he was in love with you for basically all of college and you never seemed to want him as more than a friend. He wanted you in his life so badly and he was scared you would run at the thought of anything more, and that's why he never told you. You can't get angry at him for trying to move on."_

 _"I'm not angry. Believe me, I know he deserves to be happy. I guess I just don't like sharing him," she shrugged, ignoring the fact that Belle said he had been in love with her._

 _"It's more than that and we both know it. But it's okay if it takes you a while to get to it. Wouldn't be the first time."_

* * *

Thirty two days since his accident and his room is full of color. At first it had only been Emma bringing in flowers or putting decorations around his bed, but eventually a couple nurses sympathized with her and helped. Mary Margaret's class heard their teacher's friend was sick and had made a giant red and green paper chain that hung around the entire room.

The decorations seemed to do some good. Emma felt more hopeful on her recent visits and found herself thinking about what she would say to him when he woke up rather than if. The cuts on his face had healed and he looked almost back to normal now.

Day 32 she walked into his room to find Doctor Whale standing with Robin, Regina, and Belle. They all looked up when she entered.

"What's going on here?" she asked.

Belle looked between the other three and walked to her to take her hand. "Emma, we're thinking that it might be getting time to…to prepare for letting him go."

She stared at Belle in disbelief. "You mean let him die? No. No, I won't do that. He's your friend, how could any of you think that?" she cried. "Regina you haven't been here in weeks and now you show up and-"

Belle put her hands on Emma's shoulders to get her attention. "Emma, this isn't the time to point fingers. We need each other right now, Killian wouldn't want us fighting," she reasoned, tears slowly gathering in her eyes.

She looked around the room, trying to find an ally in this impossible situation, but no one rose to her defense. "Give it until the New Year," she croaked. Whale started to say something but Emma didn't want to hear it. "At the New Year, we can talk about this. It's just one more week," she pleaded.

Whale nodded, and excused himself, the silence after his departure hanging heavy in the air.

"Would you guys mind giving me a minute? I just…I need to think about some stuff," she whispered.

She barely felt Robin pat her shoulder as he walked by, barely registered Belle's comforting squeeze of her hands before following the other two out the door.

The chair next to his bed had probably been warped because of how much she sat in it. Sometimes it seemed that she spent more time at his side than she did at her apartment. Through all the time she sat next to him, holding his hand and telling him about her day, she had never cried after the first time she had been in his room. She refused to allow herself to cry when it was her fault he was hurt in the first place.

And now they wanted her to think about letting him go. Nothing had changed in forty seven days, another week would be useless. She didn't want to lose him, she couldn't lose him, but she couldn't avoid the fact that it was a very real possibility and she had to be ready for it. She wanted another week, and she knew if she got it then she would only want another. She would forever be putting it off because she would never be ready to let him go.

"Killian, come back to me," she sobbed, and realized the sputtering and gasping she was hearing was coming from her. "I'm so sorry, for everything Killian, please you have to wake up. You have to stay, you're my best friend. I don't know how to live without you."

Of course he didn't move. There was no movement behind his eyes, no twitch of his hand that was grasped so tightly in hers, and the hope she had in the last weeks was crumbling to dust along with her heart.

"I lied, Killian. I lied and you got hurt and it's all my fault."

* * *

 _Emma was stirred from her sleep by incessant pounding on her door. She wiped the sleep from her eyes on her way to the door, wondering who the hell would need to see her so badly in the middle of the night._

 _She pulled the door open to find Killian on the other side, his hair wet from the rain outside and dripping into his eyes. He looked desperate and vulnerable and she instantly pulled him into the warmth._

 _"Killian, what on Earth happened? You're freezing and why are you driving in the rain in the middle of the night?" she fretted, pulling a towel out of the hall closet along with a blanket._

 _He sighed when she put the blanket around his shoulders, running his hands through his damp hair. "Milah and I had a fight and I just needed to see you. I think me and her are over," he mumbled, looking at his hands._

 _Conflicting emotions rose in her chest. She was ashamed that she felt a surge of excitement at the prospect of Killian being single, remorseful that she felt so happy that her best friend had his heart broken, and also upset that he was looking so dejected._

 _"Is there anything you can do to make up with her?" she asked, coming to sit next to him._

 _"Not likely. She said she was tired of not being a priority and if I wasn't going to choose her then she didn't want to put herself through this," he said._

 _Emma shook her head in disbelief. "What does she think you're prioritizing over her?"_

 _He said nothing for a few moments. When he looked up and met her eyes, he was so open when he said "You."_

 _She was left sputtering for words, thoughts flying rapidly through her head. "Me? But we're friends, that's it. Surely she can't be jealous of me," she exclaimed._

 _"That's just it, Emma, she has a right to be. We talk all the time, we have these stories that she isn't a part of, I'm closer to you than anyone and you with me," he reasoned._

 _"Killian, you were telling me how you think you love this girl, you should try to make up with her. Tell her that you have no feelings for me like that and you can go back to being happy with her," Emma encouraged. It was tearing her apart that she was telling him to go back to his girlfriend but if Milah was who he loved he should be with her. She could give him what he deserved where Emma couldn't._

 _He shook his head. "I can't do that, Emma. She gave me a choice; her or you. I chose you."_

 _True, Emma was touched, but he shouldn't prioritize a friend over his girlfriend. "Killian you don't have to choose having me as a friend over a girl that makes you happy. Just go tell her you don't have feelings for me-"_

 _"I can't do that either," he interrupted. She stared at him in shock before he leaned forward to cup her face in his hands and crush his lips to hers._

 _Before she knew what she was doing, she was kissing him back, and God, did he know how to kiss. One of his hands fell to her waist and the other knotted in her hair. He held her as if she was delicate and precious and the thing he treasured most in the world. Her hands fisted in his shirt and she never wanted to stop kissing him but then his fingers danced across her hip, sliding across the skin of her waist._

 _She could do sex. What she couldn't do was emotions and that was obviously what he was thinking about. He was her best friend and she couldn't lose him in her life. If they did this and then whatever this was didn't work, she would be left brokenhearted and he would regret her._

 _She had to stop before it went any further_

 _"Killian what do you want from me?" she asked, breaking their kiss with her hands on his chest._

 _"I don't want anything from you, I want you. Just you," he breathed and leaned in to kiss her again._

 _It took every bit of her willpower to pull back a second time, getting to her feet and pacing in front of him. "You know I can't do feelings. Neal and Walsh and all the others made this who I am and I can't suddenly change that. I can't be what you need-what you deserve."_

 _Confusion was etched in his brow as he stood and reached for her arm to stop her. "I don't understand. I thought…" he trailed off, suddenly looking powerless and utterly wrecked. "Are you telling me that after all this time, after everything we've been through you don't have any kind of feelings for me? None whatsoever?" he was pleading, begging her to tell him that she did._

 _She couldn't be what he needed. He deserved someone that could be up front with him about how they felt and be able love him with complete abandon. She was too guarded, to broken and he deserved someone whole. So she lied._

 _"I don't. I'm sorry, Killian," she met his eyes, doing her best to keep a straight face. His eyes flitted between hers, desperately searching for the lie and when he didn't find it he nodded slowly and turned to leave._

 _"I'm sorry for bothering you, love," he muttered._

 _She reached for his hand but he shook her off. "Killian I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you," she cried. He froze, his hand on the doorknob to leave._

 _"I don't want to lose you," he said over his shoulder, before pushing the door open and disappearing into the night._

 _Emma didn't even try to get back to sleep, instead she sat up in her living room thinking. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had wrecked the best thing she had ever had and it was crushing her under the weight of it. What had Belle said? That she would figure it out? Well she had._

 _She did have feelings for him, powerful ones. She probably always had and that's why none of her past relationships had ever worked out-they were trying to live up to an impossible standard. She resigned herself to call him in the morning and say she wanted to see him and maybe they could work this out._

 _Her phone rang on her nightstand as she walked back into her bedroom. The number was unfamiliar and she felt a sense of dread when she walked forward. She tapped the screen to take the call._

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Is this Emma Swan?"_

* * *

Christmas didn't change anything about her routine. She woke up, got ready, and went to see Killian as soon as she was presentable. Normally she would leave to go to work and come back in the afternoon, but today she was planning on spending the day at his side.

She walked onto the unit and something felt different immediately. The nurse at the desk looked up saw her, and put the phone she was holding to her ear back down. "Miss Swan, I was just about to call you-"

Emma didn't bother to hear the rest of the sentence. There had been no change in weeks and something had happened to Killian. She was terrified he had gotten worse and she needed to see him and she was probably not allowed to run in a hospital but she couldn't find it in herself to care at the moment.

She tore into the room and saw Doctor Whale pulling one of the tubes away from Killian's face and a nurse turning off one of the machines. She was too late, she hadn't been here and something had happened to him-

Whale turned when he heard the broken sound that came from her chest and stepped to the side and she got her first real look at Killian and he was awake. His eyes were open and he was breathing and looking at her and alive and she didn't think she had ever seen such a beautiful sight as his eyes open after thirty four days.

Everything she had wanted to say, planned to say, flew from her mind and she crossed the room in a rush and leaned down to kiss him as gently as possible because he had just woken up from a coma for God's sake. Whale nodded to the nurse and said they would be in later.

"Emma," his voice was gruff and dry from misuse but it might have been a symphony it was so beautiful for her to hear.

"I'm so sorry. I lied, Killian, I lied and you then left and you could have died, you were almost dead. I almost lost you and I'm so sorry," she was sobbing but he quieted her with another kiss, more desperate than the first.

"Why?" was all he managed to choke out before his voice have out again. She didn't meet his eyes as she reached for the water by his bed.

"I was scared. You deserve someone better than me and I didn't want to lose you if we didn't work out so I ran. It destroyed me watching you leave, believe me, and I wanted to go after you as soon as you left. I just didn't think you'd listen," she said, tracing the lines of his palm with her fingers.

"They said you were here every day. They said they had to make you leave some days and there were a few times you fell asleep here. Why? Why didn't you leave?" his asked warily

She thought back to all the lonely nights since his accident and the restless sleep she got when she slept in her own bed. She remembered all the times she sat watching him for hours, not moving from her chair or letting go of his hand even though there was no sign he knew she was there. "I didn't want you to… to go and for someone not to be here. I didn't want you to die alone," she confessed.

He touched his thumb to her chin to get her attention. "Emma you know I wouldn't leave you all here. Who else would bring you Chinese on Tuesdays or call Regina out when she's being ridiculous or argue with Dave about what real football is? Really, you all need me," he smiled.

"Yeah, we do. I need you most though," she whispered, leaning in and touching her forehead to his.

"I need you most too. We have a lot to talk about, love."

"I know. I just…I need to be sure you're really here. I promise we will but for a second there I thought you were dead-" her voice was starting to waver again.

He brought his hand to her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. "It's okay. I'm here," he whispered.

Emma sniffed and kissed him again. Now that she could, she didn't intend to stop any time soon. Especially when she was ready to take a chance on him. Something told her this time was going to be different.


	9. It's Worth the Risk

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "We took our kids to see Santa and they both wished we would get together.

* * *

"Mommy, wake up, we have to go!" a small voice said from above her.

Emma stirred, burying her face in her pillow. She had worked late at the diner and it was way too early in the morning to have a six year old jumping on her bed.

"Mommy, we're going to miss Santa. Killian and Liam are going to be waiting for us, you have to wake up!" he tugged on her arm and she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Yes, being a single mother was hard, but she wouldn't trade any moment she had with Henry for anything. He was the one good thing to come from her time with Neal and the reason she did anything. He deserved a good life, he deserved the best she could give him and more. She didn't think she could love anything or anyone more than she loved her son, and that was what mattered most.

She quickly dressed and brushed her teeth, pulling her hair into a ponytail right as there was a knock on the door. Henry beat her to the door and opened it, letting their neighbors in.

Emma was most grateful for Henry, but Killian Jones and his son Liam came in a close second. She met Killian when Henry was three and she was wrestling him and a suitcase with almost all their clothes up the stairs to the third floor when he offered his assistance. She had been a little concerned to have a stranger around her son, but that had lessened when she met Liam. Since then, Killian had been around whenever she needed: helping carry groceries, making sure Henry got home from school okay when she was working late, having him play with Liam for a couple hours so she could get a nap.

"How are you, love? You didn't get in too late last night did you?" Killian asked, sidling up next to her while the boys ran to Henry's room.

"A little later than normal, but nothing I can't handle," she shrugged.

"I'm sure you're right," he said softly. She knew that he was attracted to her, and she would be lying if she said she never felt a tug in her stomach whenever he smiled at her. She had always assumed that the reason he hadn't found someone new after his wife died was that he had been raising Liam alone from the time the boy was a year old. And she cared too much to jump into something with him and not have it work out.

She realized after a few moments that she was staring at him, his grin widening. "We should get going," she stated, picking the easiest excuse to step away from him.

He didn't put up a fight when she turned away. He never did. Always letting her take the lead, always following where she went, and it was nice. "Boys, let's go see Santa," he called, never taking his eyes off her face. Yeah, he could really hurt her if she gave him the chance. Better to stay his friend.

The two of them settled the boys in the back seat of Emma's yellow bug and on their way to the mall, Henry and Liam chattering in the back seat. They were the perfect image of a happy family, which they had been mistaken for on multiple occasions. It was to the point that Emma didn't even try to deny it anymore when a kindly old woman in the grocery store would tell her she had beautiful children. It wasn't even really false anyway, because they were a family in every way that mattered.

They got to the mall and waited in the long line (seriously, why did so many people wait so long to see Santa?). Killian stood next to her, maybe a little closer than was necessary for platonic purposes but it was something she was used to.

Finally, it was the boys' turn and they eagerly stepped forward.

The Santa the mall had gotten this year was actually pretty good. He obviously loved kids, and he played the part of jolly old man very well. "And what are your names?" he asked as the boys stepped forward, Henry immediately sitting on his lap with Liam following shyly behind. It was their dynamic; Henry forged the way and Liam followed behind him.

"I'm Henry, and this is my friend Liam. We're neighbors," Henry smiled.

"And what do you want for Christmas, Henry and Liam?" Santa asked.

Henry started talking about a new book he heard was really good that he wanted while Liam calmly waited, and asked for a new video game he and Henry could play when it was his turn.

"There's actually one more thing," Henry said, after Liam had finished talking. The two boys smiled at each other then looked back at Santa. "We want our parents to get together," Henry said, and Emma felt like her heart had stopped beating. "Liam's dad really likes my mom and I know she likes him too. We're basically a family already, but we just really want it to be for real."

A quiet "Aww" rose from the crowd of people standing around them. A quick glance at Killian told Emma he was just as stunned as she was, and the tips of his ears were turning red. She felt overwhelmed, and there were people gathered around smiling at them and it was making her feel even more uncomfortable which she never felt around Killian. It was disconcerting and she didn't like it.

Santa looked between Emma and Killian and he seemed to understand the dynamic instantly. "Well boys, I think that's entirely up to your parents. But I will tell you that if something is meant to happen, it will."

* * *

"Henry, do you really want me and Killian to be together?" she anxiously asked, tucking her son into bed that night.

Henry was practically beaming when he answered. "Yeah. Liam and I get along great, and Liam says Killian talks about you a lot, plus he makes you happy."

"I'm happy being your mom, Henry, you know that. I don't need anyone else to make me happy," she said, leaning down to kiss her son's forehead.

Henry rolled his eyes at her. He was way too good at that for a six year old. "Yeah maybe, but you could be happier. I know my dad wasn't a good guy, but Killian isn't like him. Sometimes things are worth taking risks for."

She sighed, contemplating his words. "When did you get so smart, kid?" she asked simply.

"I know things, what can I say?" she smiled. "Think about it? Please?"

"If I say yes will you go to sleep?" she asked. When he nodded, an enormous grin on his face, and Emma leaned over and turned his lamp off and walked down the hall.

She settled herself onto the couch, thinking over everything Henry had said, in addition to the last three years. Killian had always been there, and if he intended to leave he would have done it long ago. She trusted him more than she had trusted anyone in a long time, probably ever. She trusted him with Henry for God's sake, and that boy was her life and heart and not once had Killian let her down.

And she did have feelings for him. She tried to brush it off as attraction but it ran deeper. He hadn't abandoned her and had never made her feel like she owed him anything. He was able to see through her façade to who she was underneath it all. He had told her about losing his wife, how it had destroyed him, how the only thing that had brought him back from the brink had been Liam and she understood because she felt the same about Henry.

But did she want an actual relationship with him? On more than one occasion she had considered the possibility of surrendering to the tension between them and falling into his bed but commitment had been out of the realm of possibility for her. She told Henry she didn't need anyone but him but on she knew on some level she needed Killian and his son and she wouldn't risk that.

Some things are worth taking risks for. Seriously when did that kid get so smart?

She recognized Killian's knock when it came from the door, and if she believed in fate or signs from the universe, this is probably what one would look like. She opened the door and immediately stepped aside for him to enter. "I figured you would be here tonight," she said, trying to keep up the bantering tone she usually had with him but it sounded weak to her own ears so it must sound feeble to him too.

He looked apologetic, almost frantic as he launched into a speech he probably had rehearsed before coming over. "Emma, I am so sorry, I had no idea they had that planned. If I did-"

"I know," she said simply.

He scratched behind his ear, the nervous tick he had that she found incredibly endearing. "Liam was asking me about it tonight and I didn't know what to say. I told him whatever happened was entirely up to you."

"I knew you would say that," she smiled. "But what do you want?"

He sighed, searching her face for any kind of reaction and not for the first time she marveled at how incredibly, beautifully blue his eyes were. "If I had my way we would have gotten together a long time ago," he said.

His openness was astounding to her. She had always been closed off, never showing but a fraction of who she was to anyone, and he had his moments where he was reserved too but this was new. It made choosing what she wanted easier.

"Henry was talking to me too. He said that some things are worth taking risks for. And I think this is one of them," she said.

He looked astonished and hopeful and happy. "You're sure? Because I don't want you to get involved in something you're not sure about, I know you-"

He was babbling and before she could think to hard she walked to him and kissed him quickly, her hands cradling his face. She broke the kiss as his hands came to rest on her waist, almost like he was afraid she would have changed her mind and suddenly walk away from him.

"I'm sure. Maybe we should just start with going on a date?" she lifted a shoulder shyly, feeling anxious even though she was well aware what his answer would be.

"Aye, a date would be wonderful," he began, pressing his forehead to hers. "But I would really like to kiss you again if that's okay."

A short laugh, more of a giggle, passed her lips and she stood on her toes to reach him.

Yeah. Definitely worth the risk.


	10. Blizzards Bring People Together

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "We're at the mall when there's a severe weather warning over the loudspeakers, guess we're spending the night here"

* * *

"Swan aren't you finished yet? You do realize that storm is going to be here in a couple hours," Killian Jones followed behind his best friend. Her arms were full of shopping bags to the point where she must be losing circulation in her arms.

"Almost, Killian. I still need to find something for Mary Margaret," she called over her shoulder, her blonde hair falling down her back. "God that woman is hard to shop for," she muttered, more like an afterthought to herself.

Killian groaned because they were going on four hours in the mall with an insane crowd of last minute shoppers and she had said thirty more minutes an hour ago. It's not that he didn't like spending time with her, or that he hated the holidays, it's just that he could only take so much at a time.

The things he did for Emma Swan.

"Just get her a new kitchen gadget, or find her a sweater you know she'll like, or add to her clock collection. She's probably the easiest person to shop for, Emma," he complained. He knew he sounded like a child, but he had finished his shopping a week ago and the only reason he was braving the mall the Saturday before Christmas was because Emma had given him her sad eyes and asked if he loved her.

(The answer was yes, just in a different way than she thought)

"Her clocks, Killian, this is why I bring you places," she said, grinning widely.

She rushed off in a different direction, and he stared at her back before traipsing after her. He really was too far gone for this woman.

They had met their freshman year of college when their roommates had started dating and would frequently end up in either his room or hers whenever David and Mary Margaret needed privacy. They had become best friends and probably the most important people in each other's lives. He had fallen in love with her sometime around the end of their freshman year, but had been in the process of it since the first time he met her. There were times he thought perhaps his feelings for her were reciprocated, but she never made any move to change their current relationship so neither did he.

Emma was browsing through a display of antique clocks in a store he had never set foot in when an employee walked up to him. "Is there anything I can help you find?" she asked pleasantly.

"No, thank you," he smiled, brushing her off.

"Okay, well, let me know if you need anything," her smile became something more coy and she tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked back towards the registers.

Emma came up next to him, a small black clock in her hand and nodded in the direction of the employee. "What was that all about?" she asked, and if he didn't know better he'd think she sounded slightly defensive.

"She asked if I needed help with anything, I said no, she walked over there," he stated simply.

She nodded, her expression slightly strained. "Trust me, she was asking about a lot more than if you needed help finding a gift."

A grin spread across his face. "Now, Swan, you know you're the only woman I have time for in my life, don't you?"

She rolled her eyes in the way she always did when he was being ridiculous, nudging him toward the registers with her shoulder. "Careful Jones, or I'll start to think you have a crush on me," she said and he nearly stopped breathing.

At the register, the girl tried to flirt with him again, and Killian could make out the tense line of Emma's jaw and the set of her shoulders. As they were getting ready to leave, he took the bag and put his other arm around her shoulder. "Where to next, love?" he asked, catching sight of the employee's change in demeanor.

Emma understood his intent perfectly. "I think we're done. Ready to go home and help me wrap everything?" she asked, leaning into him.

They were outside the store but he didn't remove his arm from her shoulders and she didn't make any move to shrug him off. To anyone walking by, they looked the picture of a happy couple and he liked it. A lot. He was about to open his mouth to ask her what she wanted for dinner when an announcement came over the loudspeakers.

"Attention shoppers, we would like to inform you the severe winter storm that was forecast has hit the area ahead of what was predicted. For your safety, we are allowing everyone to remain in the building until the storm warning lifts. Thank you."

Killian sighed, "Well Swan, looks like we're staying here for a while."

"What do you mean? We can totally make it, it's just some snow and wind," she insisted.

"Your car doesn't have a heater, you didn't let me put snow tires on it, and it is an older model beetle. There's no way I'm letting you drive that car in a blizzard," he protested.

She grumbled and they settled down on the ground beside the escalators. Other people were getting the same idea and soon there was a crowd. Killian and a few other people tried to make light of the situation and talk with some of the people around them, but Emma was not enjoying being stranded at all.

At one point he went to the vending machine to bring food, and when he sat down she wrapped his arm around her shoulder again. At his raised eyebrow she said "A group of girls were staring at you when you were walking back."

"I didn't take you for the jealous type, love," he grinned, kissing her forehead for good measure.

"Only when it comes to you. If you get a girlfriend you won't have time for me anymore," she mumbled the last part and he wasn't entirely sure he was meant to hear it.

"I'll always have time for you," he whispered into her ear and she shivered.

She settled against him and the extensive shopping must have taken its toll on her because soon she was asleep on his shoulder.

"You make an adorable couple," an older woman walking by said. He looked up and thanked her. It wasn't the first time someone had told them they had been mistaken for a couple. "How long have you been together?" she asked.

"We met six years ago and I've loved her most of that time," he said truthfully.

The woman nodded understandingly and raised an eyebrow at him. "You should maybe do something about that," she winked before shuffling off. He saw her link hands with an old man who gave him a smile as if his wife did this kind of thing often.

Killian looked back at Emma, who was slightly drooling on his shoulder and he couldn't help smile at her. She told him all the time that he was the only one who really understood her and he said it was because she saw him just as clearly. He raised a hand to push her hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear.

"I do love you, Emma. One day I'll tell you how much."

* * *

A couple hours later the storm had lifted and Killian had let Emma drive them home. It was a struggle for her to pretend that she hadn't heard his conversation with the old lady that had walked by, but she played her nervousness off as uncertainty about the road conditions and the upcoming holiday. If he suspected anything, he didn't say.

He loved her? And not the way she thought he did?

She felt a little bad for brushing off his offer to help her wrap everything, but she did just have a bomb dropped on her.

He loved her too.

Almost immediately after she got home she called Ruby, who was the only person Emma had told how she felt about Killian. If anyone knew how to handle the situation, it was her. She picked up on the second ring.

"What's up, buttercup?"

"Killian said he loves me," she didn't bother with preamble.

She could tell the moment Ruby became serious. "Wait, like the way you love me or the way you love him?"

"Ruby, be serious, would I really be calling if he meant it the way that I love you?"

"Okay, wow, I need details. Tell me everything, did he say it to you, was it intentional, did he just let it slip?" Ruby spoke hurriedly and Emma launched into the story. Ruby was quiet for a few moments after she finished telling her about the old lady.

"Emma, I think it's time you told him how you feel. He would probably be thrilled, I told you that you weren't imagining things," Ruby encouraged.

"But what if-" Emma began, all her old fears rising in her chest.

"No. No buts. You need to tell him Emma," Ruby scolded. "March over to his apartment right now. I'm going to call you in half an hour and if you haven't I'm going to call again. You'll thank me for this at your wedding," and then she hung up.

Emma stared in disbelief at her phone screen because Ruby was never this straightforward with her about anything except what clothes she should wear. It was a bit unnerving. But was she right? Emma had relied on Killian for years and he had never abandoned her, had always been willing to talk about whatever she needed. He had been there for all of the bad breakups, even helping her through the ones she had before she realized she loved him but apparently after he loved her. He had never made a move on her when she was vulnerable and it only made her love him more. She was still pacing thirty minutes later when Ruby called her.

"Have you left yet?" was the answer she got when she picked up the phone.

"I'm walking out the door now, Ruby. Cut me some slack, it's a lot to work through," she said.

"I'm calling in another half hour," was the reply and the call disconnected.

Her drive to Killian's apartment took longer than usual from the snow that had piled up during the storm, and as usual everyone became horrible drivers when there was snow involved. She spent the time telling herself that she was doing this and that of course he wasn't going to reject her, but she still ended up lingering outside his door for a few minutes after she arrived.

She knocked softly and was about to turn and run away with the excuse that he wasn't home when the door swung open and he was right there. "Emma? I thought you were going to be busy, is something wrong?" he asked, once again proving how absolutely amazing he was.

She knew if she didn't say what she had come to, she would never tell him so she just blurted out "You told the old lady at the mall you loved me."

He froze, and she could see the panic just behind his eyes. "Aye, Swan, you know I love you," he said, with the smile she knew meant he was hiding something and it all but confirmed that he felt the same about her.

"I know, but you meant it in a different way than the way I love Ruby or Mary Margaret or David. You meant it the way…the way that I love you," she forced herself to meet his eyes and saw every emotion that flitted across them. Confusion, realization, disbelief, and finally hope. His mouth was hanging partially open in shock as she stepped forward, wrapped her arms around his waist, and finally kissed him.

It only took him a second to reciprocate before he tugged her into his apartment by her waist and she turned to pin him against the door. A few seconds later her phone rang from her back pocket.

"Shouldn't you get that, love?" he asked, breathless from their kiss.

"It's just Ruby, ignore it," she said. He pulled the phone from her pocket and she groaned when he broke away from her again, instead trailing her lips down the column of his throat and across his collarbone.

He pushed the answer button on her phone and held it to his ear. "Ruby this isn't a good time, go away," he said, hanging up and tossing her phone on to the couch.

"Considering she was calling to make sure I came to talk to you that will definitely shut her up," Emma giggled.

"Oh so Ruby knew before I did? How is that fair?" he asked, pulling her lips back to his before she could answer.

"I'll make it up to you," she whispered coyly. "Now that I have you here, don't think I'm letting you out of my sight."

"I would despair if you did."


	11. The Cutest Secret Couple

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "We're at a Christmas party and our friends got drunk and started going on about how cute we would be together AU

* * *

"Miss Swan, come to my office please," Regina Mills called, and Emma felt a shot of terror run through her. Sure, most people always feel a sense of panic when their boss needs to speak to her in private even if they don't have anything to hide. Except Emma did have something to hide.

 _Please don't be about Killian. Please don't be about Killian._

She stepped through the heavy wooden door to the office beyond, her breath tight in her chest a rock in her stomach. "You wanted to see me, Ms. Mills?" Did her voice sound strained to her boss or was that just her?

Regina didn't even look up from her desk. "Yes, I need you to look over these contracts and get back to me by tomorrow afternoon," she said, handing Emma a stack of papers. "Get Jones to help you," she said, and Emma heard the finality of her instructions.

"Is this all, Ms. Mills?" she asked, almost in disbelief that she hadn't been reprimanded.

She received a short nod and dismissal, and Emma hurried from the office before she attracted suspicion. She closed the door behind her, leaning against it with a heavy sigh. She pushed herself off the door and walked as casually as possible toward her desk, trying to hide the disguise the fact that the huge weight suspended over her had not in fact dropped.

"Hey Jones, Mills gave us these contracts to look over," she said, dropping half the stack onto the desk next to hers. The man seated there looked up at her, a grin stretching across his face.

"You wound me, Swan. I thought you actually wanted to talk to me," he said, mischief behind his eyes.

"Only when you decide to drop this cocky persona you insist on putting on," she fired back, more for the benefit of everyone else than his.

They had secretly been dating the last two months and they really couldn't let anyone catch on because the company had a policy about dating someone in the same branch. Neither of them had the ability to transfer so they were stuck sneaking around and praying no one found them in a closet or in some other compromising position.

Emma's best friend, Mary Margaret, suddenly appeared at her side, pulling Emma from her thoughts. "Emma, Killian, you both are going to come to the office Christmas party right? David was planning on coming with me, he said he misses everyone."

David had been Emma's supervisor before he had transferred divisions. He and Mary Margaret decided to stop dancing around their feelings and had gone about getting into a relationship the right way, unlike her and Killian. Emma had been promoted to his old position, met Killian, and everything had progressed from there.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about it but yeah, that sounds great," she agreed, catching Killian's nod out of the corner of her eye.

She put the Christmas party out of her mind for the next few hours while she focused on the contracts Regina had given her. It was tedious work and she felt her eyes straining after the first two. She caught a glimpse of Killian rubbing his eyes and smiled secretively to herself.

"I'm going to get lunch, do you want me to grab you anything?" she asked, standing from her chair and pulling on her coat on even though she had no intention of actually getting food. It was their code.

His smile was secret and seductive as he said "No, I think I'll just grab something here."

He would meet her in an upstairs closet in five minutes.

As she walked to their meeting place, she considered looking for a new position in the company or perhaps a new job altogether. Things were good with Killian, and they really had the potential to be so much more. He had ignited a fire in her that she had never felt before. It wasn't just the physical aspect of their relationship (although that was a really big perk) but he made her happy-really, truly happy. Whether it was coffee after a particularly difficult morning or when he made her dinner at his apartment when she stayed the night, he seemed to always know exactly what she needed.

She had barely closed the door to what she had dubbed "their closet" when the door swung back open and Killian followed her inside.

"Hey, we've talked about this. Five minutes, buddy," she scolded.

"I know, I just couldn't wait. I missed you too much," he pulled her to him and crashed his lips to hers.

A soft moan escaped her lips when his mouth left hers to trail along her jaw and to the spot behind her ear he knew she liked. "You're lucky you're a good kisser," she mumbled.

He continued his ministrations and all thoughts of transferring were driven from her mind by the solid feeling of his body pressed against hers.

* * *

The annual Christmas party was held a couple hours after everyone normally went home, which allowed them to leave and change out of their business clothes to something more suitably casual. Emma chose her best jeans and a red sweater she had worn around Killian one day that had driven him crazy. She might be a little evil when it came to teasing her secret boyfriend, but he always gave as good as he got.

By the time she arrived, someone had somehow convinced Mary Margaret to indulge in champagne even though everyone knew that was a terrible idea. The woman could hold wine like nobody's business but champagne was a whole other story. David was standing with his arm around her waist, her lowered inhibitions putting a smile on his face. He was talking with Killian and it took everything in her not to walk up and wrap her arm around his waist because it seemed so natural to her.

She waited a few minutes, mingling with some of her other coworkers before approaching the group she really cared about. "David, it's good to see you, how are you doing?" she asked, genuine cheer at seeing her friend.

"I'm great, how are you? I hope this guy's not giving you too much trouble," he joked, nodding in Killian's direction.

"I'll have you know I am a perfect gentleman, Dave. Tell him, Swan," he looked at her, mock indignation on his face.

"He's only a handful between Sunday and Saturday. Every other time he's a joy to be around," she winked at Killian and David laughed.

Ruby, another employee, appeared at Emma's side and handed Mary Margaret a glass of champagne (so that's where she got it). "Emma! You're here! Wow you look so different in jeans I like it," she babbled.

"Thanks, Ruby," Emma chuckled. "Now explain why did you let Mary Margaret drink champagne when we all know that's a bad idea?"

"Girl's got a serious relationship now, she's got to live a little," Ruby shrugged. Suddenly her face brightened. "Emma, you should get a boyfriend! Yeah, I mean you're gorgeous and determined and smart, there must be someone for you."

Mary Margaret suddenly looked very excited. "Ooh, I know, you should date Killian, you two would be so cute together," she exclaimed.

Emma felt the color drain from her face. Ruby didn't notice however, and eagerly agreed. "Yeah! You two bicker and tease each other all the time plus look at him," she gestured to Killian who looked equally as uncomfortable as Emma felt. "You could do a lot worse than tall dark and handsome over there," Ruby finished.

Killian recovered before she did. "I'm not sure how the two of us would get along if we were to date," he said cautiously.

"No, Ruby's right, you two would be great together. I mean once you get past the fact Emma doesn't like to talk about her past and that she's cynical about love and all that deeper stuff," Mary Margaret slurred, talking slightly louder than necessary.

"Mary Margaret you need to stop," Emma said sternly. They were going too far now, and she felt Killian's eyes on her.

Her tone didn't seem to warn her friend though. "I promise you, there are good people in the world you just need to be open to them. Not everyone is like Neal, you know."

"That's enough," Emma was startled at how loud her voice had risen. The group she was in all stared at her in stunned silence. "That's enough," she repeated softly, her voice catching in her throat. She turned to leave the room, possibly the building. Distantly, she heard Killian say he would talk to her and heard his footsteps behind her.

She knew Mary Margaret didn't mean anything, that she would regret everything she had let slip once she sobered up, but it was out in the open now. Sure, she hadn't brought up the specifics of what happened with Neal, but it was enough. Killian would want to know and she was terrified that he would walk away when he found out.

She kept her eyes forward, but found herself at the door to their closet when he caught up to her. He caught her wrist and pulled her inside before wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. "I'm sorry, love. I know you hate having that all dredged up and you didn't want me to know yet," he whispered. His fingers were following a path up and down her spine and she pressed her nose into the hollow of his throat.

"It's not just that though," she said, and she hated how frail her voice sounded. "My whole life everyone I've ever cared about abandoned me and I-"

"Hey. I have no intention of abandoning you. In case you haven't figured it out, I quite fancy you," he said.

"Oh really? I would have never guessed," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"I do want you to tell me, but on your own time. I can understand not wanting to open up about aspects of your past," he said, pulling away to look into her eyes and rub her cheek with his thumb.

She smiled up at him and he pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "Come on, they're going to come looking for us if we're gone much longer," he whispered.

"Well, you could go back and say that I left and then wait a while and claim a headache and leave yourself…" she said coyly.

He groaned at her suggestion. "I swear you are going to be the death of me," he said, kissing her once more before she ducked out of the closet.

* * *

The New Year came and went, everyone had returned from holidays, and business was back to normal. Mary Margaret had apologized profusely to Emma when she had come around, as had Ruby. Emma might have acted a little more upset than she actually was, but it would do them some good to sweat a little.

A few days into January, Killian dropped an envelope onto her desk, causing her to look up in confusion.

"Happy Christmas, open it," he said, excitement in his eyes.

"You already gave me a Christmas present, remember?" she insinuated.

His eyes darted around the office momentarily before fixing on her again. "Just open it, Swan."

She sighed and snatched the envelope from her desk. "You know I don't think it counts as a present if it's already been opened…" she trailed off, reading the first few lines.

"It's a transfer letter," he smiled. "I'm going to be working with David again which means-"

"Which means I can do this," she tossed the paper back onto her desk and practically tackled him when she threw her arms around his shoulders to kiss him.

The office around them was silent for a few moments before Ruby started cheering "I told you so" and a few people clapped.

"I take it you're happy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and pulling away from her.

"You're transferring so we can actually be open about dating. That should scare me but it doesn't. Not with you," she said, leaning into him. "So yes, I'm happy."

She had never seen him smile wider.


	12. The Santa Secret

Canon Universe-sometime in the future  
Prompt: in-spirational asked for "Daddy!Killian and lots of fluff" and this was my take on it.

* * *

"Daddy, tell me about Santa again!" Leia squealed, running into the living room in her pajamas to climb on to Killian's lap.

Emma smiled from the kitchen as he launched into what had to be the third explanation about the legend of Santa in the past twelve hours. It was the first year they were going to do Santa because this would be the first year she would remember it and her four year old mind was enthralled by the idea. Henry and Liam had agreed that they would play along for her sake, even though they were too old to believe in him anymore.

It had been a rocky transition from finding out Liam was in Storybrooke and bringing him into their home. He still resented Killian for the first few weeks he had lived with them, but he had come around eventually. He was also fiercely protective of Leia which meant a lot, particularly to Emma.

Killian finished the story just as Emma walked out of the kitchen with the plate of cookies they had all prepared earlier.

"Movie time guys, come on," she yelled, and Henry and Liam's footsteps were heard thundering on the stairs. She set the plate down on the coffee table and settled on the couch next to her husband just as the boys rushed in, taking a cookie each.

"I can't believe Killian is relenting to A Christmas Story when he likes Christmas Vacation better," Henry teased.

"I don't think your sister would appreciate the scene with the cat," Emma scolded. It had been five years and Henry still wouldn't let Killian and her father live down their argument over which movie was better.

Killian turned on the TV and Leia settled into his lap. She had always looked up to her father, and he had been wrapped around her finger from the moment she was born. Killian claimed it was because of the pirate in her and she knew she would get what she wanted if she asked him. Emma didn't mind it too often.

By the time the credits rolled the cookies were gone and everyone was yawning. Leia had fallen asleep on Killian's shoulder shortly after Ralphie and Randy visited Santa. She stirred when Killian moved to stand and take her up to bed.

"Did Santa come yet? We gotta leave his cookies, remember," she asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"He's not been here yet, little love. It is bedtime though, and the sooner you're asleep the sooner he'll get here," he said, smoothing her little blonde curls out of her face as Emma leaned over to kiss her daughter goodnight and set out a new plate of cookies and some carrots beside the plate (Leia had insisted they leave something for the reindeer too).

After Killian had settled her into bed (after yet another retelling of the Santa story), Emma met him outside her room. "Okay, help me carry the presents downstairs," Emma she, moving toward their room just down the hall from Leia's.

Killian cocked his head, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Why do we get them, you told Leia that Santa brought them?"

Emma gaped at him and she realized that of course he would have believed in a man that delivered presents in a single night. He grew up in a world with magic so it wasn't that much of a stretch to believe one man could travel around the world to every single house.

"Oh, Killian, Santa actually isn't real, he's a story that parents tell their kids," she said slowly, noticing he looked slightly disappointed.

"Why would parents lie to their children though?" he asked.

She understood "Some people say it's so that the kids will behave but I always thought of it as a way that kids will believe in magic. This world is harsh sometimes and kids need to believe there's something good out there, right?"

"I'm not particularly fond of lying to Leia, but you're right," he sighed. Then, he looked at her once more in confusion. "How will we get on the roof though? And will your red coat work just like Santa's would?"

Her eyebrows shot up towards her hairline. "Killian, we don't actually have to climb down the chimney, that's dangerous and you could hurt yourself. We just carry them downstairs very quietly and then we go to sleep," she explained in hushed tones. They were still fairly close to Leia's room and she didn't want her daughter to overhear their discussion.

"Oh. Right of course," he said, following her towards their room. The presents from Santa had been stashed secretly, and Emma handed him a couple boxes from where she had stashed them in the back of their closet. She grabbed the remaining few for herself, sneaking a small green box into her own stack.

With Killian's help, the two of them quickly stashed the gifts from Santa under the tree and sneaking the small box into the branches where he couldn't see it. When they finished, she took his hand and started leading him back towards their room. She caught the slightly guilty look he made at Leia's door as they passed and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Wait until you see her face tomorrow morning. It'll be worth it, I promise."

* * *

Leia was thrilled.

She woke her parents before seven in the morning by jumping on their bed, squealing about how Santa had visited and they had to come downstairs right now. Killian sat up and stared after her after she left skipping down the hall, a content smile stretching across his face. He looked down at Emma and said "Yeah, it was worth it," before getting up to go downstairs.

Leia spent all of breakfast talking about how she could have sworn she heard Santa on the roof last night and how she had pretended to be asleep and how he had even taken the carrots for his reindeer. After they finally got her to eat something, she rushed them all into the living room so they could open presents.

Killian made them all go one by one so they could get pictures of everyone opening every gift. It was actually a great idea, because knowing their kids, they would tear into everything in their excitement. After everything was opened (except for the secret box Emma had hidden) and the mess of paper thrown away, Liam and Henry disappeared upstairs to play with the new video game that Liam had gotten while Leia insisted that Killian teach her how to sword fight with the wooden sword Santa had brought her.

She had wanted a real one, but Emma told her it was against Santa's rules until she was a big girl.

They ended up watching A Christmas Story two more times before the day was over. Killian got Leia to chant "You'll shoot your eye out" by the end of the first re-watch and they were all quoting it by the end of the second.

Emma passed by Leia's room right as Killian was settling her into bed.

"Daddy, what was your favorite part of Christmas?" she asked sleepily as Killian pulled her blanket up to her chin.

"I don't know if I have a favorite, little love," he said softly, handing her the stuffed duck Liam and Henry had given her. "I just loved getting to be with my family."

"My favorite part was sword fighting. Can you teach me more tomorrow?" she asked, fixing him with her best puppy eyes that worked on him every single time.

He leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Aye, little one. Now go to sleep," he whispered. She turned over and her quiet snores filled the room almost instantly.

When he pulled the door shut as he left, Emma stood on her toes to give him a quick kiss. "Come on. There's one more present that needs to be opened," she said, taking his hand and leading him down the stairs to sit on the couch. She walked to the tree and pulled out the small box she had hid in the branches. She sat next to him, placing it on his knee.

"I don't understand, love, we agreed we wouldn't get presents for each other," he said, perplexed.

Emma could feel excitement building in her stomach. "Just open it," she urged.

He shook his head at her, tearing off the wrapping paper and lifting the lid from the small white box underneath. She could tell the instant he recognized what lay inside.

"Love, this is one of those tests you showed me when you were pregnant with Leia," he stated, staring blankly at the stick in his hands.

"I know. What does it say?" she urged.

He stared a few moments longer before looking at her, wild excitement in his eyes. "It's positive," he breathed. "You're pregnant?" he asked, an elated and purely joyful smile spreading across his face.

"I'm pregnant," she repeated, allowing him to pull her into his arms and pepper kisses across her cheeks, nose, and lips.

"So I take it you don't mind this gift?" she asked after he eventually pulled away to run his hand through her hair, over her waist, and across her still flat stomach.

"I don't mind at all. I love you so much, Emma. This is everything I ever wanted for us," he said, looking at her in astonishment as if after everything he still couldn't quite believe that she had chosen him. "I hope this one has your eyes since Leia has mine," he said, almost as an afterthought. Emma chuckled and leaned in to kiss him again.


	13. Coffee and Confessions

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "We're co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff Christmas party and admitted your love for me I don't know how to act around you now"  
 _AN: So this one doesn't follow the prompt exactly, but I like this version better and it's probably going to get a part two. Also, there is a short discussion of abuse in a foster home, just in case that bothers anyone. It isn't graphic and it is very short but I just want to be safe._

* * *

"Killian Jones, I told you I wasn't going to clean up after you anymore!" a voice yelled from the precinct kitchen. He smiled to himself, knowing Emma Swan would appear at his desk soon. One of his favorite activities was finding a way to push her buttons. While others might just shake their heads and ignore him, Emma rose to his so easily. His specialty was leaving messes behind that she just couldn't seem to ignore.

And yes, part of the reason was that it gave him an excuse to talk to her, even if she spent most of their interactions glaring at him and speaking through gritted teeth.

She stormed up to his desk, her blonde curls swaying with the intensity of her steps, and dropped the empty cup that had held his coffee, along with the cream and sugar packets he had added. "How many times do I have to tell you to throw away your own trash?" she asked.

He knew it was meant to be a redundant question but he couldn't bite back the retort. "Perhaps just once more after this one?" he grinned, thoroughly enjoying her frustration. He pointed out to her once that she was beautiful when she was angry (she had punched him in the arm for the comment) and he truly meant it. Her eyes grew a darker green and the fire in them grew in intensity, and her cheeks became flushed.

"I am not your mother, I am not your maid. Throw your thrash away when you make coffee, it's not that hard," she fumed. His other specialty came in the form of innuendo, but he did know where to draw the line when it came to annoying her so he merely bit his tongue.

She opened her mouth to keep berating him when her partner, David, approached them. "Emma, we got a case," He said, handing her the file. "Humbert put us on it with Jones and Scarlet."

"Ah, we get to work together, Swan. I promise I'll be on my best behavior," he teased and her only response was to roll her eyes.

"You better, Jones. Twelve year old girl came to the emergency room with a broken arm her foster parents claim she got falling off a bike," David said. Killian saw Emma tense out of the corner of his eye.

He really hated these kinds of cases. "Let me guess," he said, "the injury isn't consistent with the story."

"She doesn't have a bike," Emma said, staring at the floor. He was curious as to how she knew that considering she hadn't even opened the file David had handed to her. "Come on, David. I'll drive to the hospital."

"I actually have to leave early today, Mary Margaret had a sonogram at the Women's Center and I'm meeting her. Take Jones with you, it'll do him some good to get out a bit." He waved as he walked out of the building leaving Emma gaping after him and Killian sitting very smug in his chair.

She turned to glare at him, and he responded by looked up at her and asking "Do you still want to drive?"

* * *

Emma was quiet the entire way to the hospital. When they got to Ava Zimmer's room, Emma's demeanor changed immediately. She spoke softly and calmly, and after a while, Ava told her everything about how her foster father had grabbed her arm while she was trying to walk away and that was how it had broken.

Killian stood at the back of the room, recognizing that Ava was cooperating with Emma and not wanting to interrupt them. However, Emma seemed to get upset the longer they talked. Not with Ava, but he could see despair behind her eyes and it took everything in him not to put a hand on her shoulder and lead her from the room.

When he and Emma stood to leave, Ava called out to her. "Wait! My brother Nicholas, he's still there. You have to help him too. Promise," she insisted.

Emma turned at the door, and looked fiercely determined when she looked back at Ava. "We're going to protect both of you. I promise you won't have to go back there."

After she closed the door and started stalking down the hall, Killian had to rush to keep up with her. "Care to explain what's bothering you, Swan?"

"Two kids aren't safe in what's supposed to be their home, that's what's bothering me," she said bluntly, not meeting his eyes.

"No, it's more than that, I can tell. Something about this case in particular is staying with you, I can tell," he insisted.

She stopped in her tracks, taking a deep, huffing breath. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head when she looked at him. She was conflicted, that much was clear, but he couldn't tell over what exactly. Whatever it was, he could see in her eyes the moment she made her decision because her resolve solidified and she turned away from him. "I just really care about saving those kids," she directed over her shoulder and he was left staring at her back.

* * *

Emma kept her promise. She found their father, who hadn't known about them, and he took them in. They were going to be okay. Emma on the other hand, he could tell was still affected by the case. She didn't even come to yell at him the next time he left a mess in the kitchen.

A week after they closed the case, Killian found himself at the bar he usually ended up at in the week leading up to Christmas. He rarely took anyone up on their offers to accompany him home but it was still a change from his solitary life in his empty apartment. He sat down in a corner booth with a bottle of rum to watch the rest of the lonely people like him come and go, sometimes leaving alone and sometimes not. Knowing other people had their own lives happening around him wasn't particularly helping his sour mood.

He was startled from his thoughts when a woman sat down next to him and instantly wrapped her arm through his. He was about to make a protest when he saw that it was Emma. "Play along. That skinny guy up by the bar has been trying to hit on me since I got here," she whispered, putting on a fake smile and giggling.

Emma Swan giggled, who would have thought.

He looked up to the bar and saw a man with sandy hair staring at Emma. Killian instantly put his arm around her shoulders and smiled as menacingly as he could when the man looked at him. He downed his drink and left the bar soon after, and Emma shifted to the other side of the booth. He felt the loss of contact instantly.

"Thanks for that. I really couldn't listen to him talk about his furniture store anymore. Saying that you can work with all kinds of wood is not exactly the best way to pick up a girl in a bar," she said and his laugh was probably a lot louder than he intended.

"I'm always willing to help a fair maiden in distress, love," he winked.

"I was not in distress," she rolled her eyes. "Why are you out tonight? Shouldn't you be celebrating with whatever girl you're seeing this month?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just because I go out drinking with Victor and Will and they frequently go home with someone doesn't mean I do the same," he said and he noticed the way her eyes flashed that looked a lot like relief at his remark. "But to answer your question, I didn't particularly feel like spending the evening alone in my apartment."

"Me too," she muttered low enough so that he just barely heard it. "Want a drinking buddy?" she perked up.

He was honestly surprised that she hadn't walked away considering her would-be suitor had left, and he grinned. "Is that a challenge, love?"

She stared him down before asking a passing waitress for another glass. "I'm not going to get into a competition with you, Jones. But I don't really feel like drinking alone."

Two hours passed before he knew it, and he could feel the buzz of alcohol in his blood. Emma ended up having more than he did, and he blamed it on the Zimmer case. He could see very clearly that she was affected by it, more so than he was, and if she needed this then he wasn't going to deny her

"Do you really want to know why I was acting so strange at the hospital the other day?" she asked out of the blue, setting her glass down heavily on the table. He knew she was a little more than slightly drunk so he answered cautiously.

"I would like to know eventually, but I'm worried you might tell me and regret it later," he said.

She stared at the glass in her hands, her lips pursed in thought. "I do want to tell you. I wanted to tell you at the hospital but I was just too scared. You'll look at me differently," she said sheepishly.

"I doubt that, Swan. But I don't want you saying anything you'll regret," he repeated.

She took a deep breath and nodded, seemingly resigning herself to silence. "I should get home, it's getting late," she muttered and stood up, slightly shaky on her feet as she pulled on her coat and gloves.

"Let me walk with you, Swan," he followed her, grabbing his coat from beside him in the booth.

"So now you're going to be a gentleman?" she raised an eyebrow at him as they walked to the door, but she didn't order him away.

"I'm always a gentleman, love," he said, pushing the door open and holding it for her. "See?"

Emma only rolled her eyes and shook her head, but there was an amused smile on her face. He came to walk beside her, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched against the wind. She stumbled a little and grabbed his arm to steady herself. She claimed it was a patch of ice, and he didn't argue with her considering she was still holding tightly to his arm.

They were both silent for a while, and when she spoke again her voice was shaky. "I knew she didn't have a bike because I didn't have one either," she said quietly. He looked down at her and saw she was biting her lip, deep in thought.

He waited for her to continue, but he didn't really need her to explain further. He knew from David that she didn't have the easiest time growing up and he pieced together that she had spent time in the foster system. It's why she related so well to Ava, why she was so determined to help the girl and her brother.

"Ava and Nicholas have each other at least. I didn't have anyone. Some places were better than others, but some of them were really bad," she said, rubbing her thumb absentmindedly over her left wrist.

He could see the conflicting emotions warring behind her eyes. "Emma you don't have to tell me about any of this. I don't want you to feel obligated," he said.

"See, I want to tell you, that's the thing. You've got this thing about you that makes me want to tell you. I always want to talk to you. Why do you think that I always come yell at you when you leave a mess in the kitchen? It's because even when I'm yelling at you, you look like you like having me around. It feels nice," she rambled. He listened to her, completely shocked. She yelled at him because she wanted to talk to him? The fact that she had mentioned foster care at all was astonishing but telling him she didn't hate him? That was downright unreal.

"Careful, Swan. I might start to think you have a crush on me," he teased.

"Killian you're smart, surely you've figured out by now that I have feelings for you," she slurred, and he realized just how far gone she really was. Emma would never admit that to him, at least not willingly.

Before he could figure out an appropriate response, she stopped, motioning to the apartments on their left. "This is me. Thanks for walking me home," she said, turning to walk up the stairs. She turned around when she reached the top, and said a quiet "Goodnight, Killian" before walking inside.

"Goodnight," he said to the empty air. It wasn't until a cold wind blew through that he realized how cold it was and that he was still outside her building. He turned to walk the rest of the way to his own apartment, thinking over the unexpected way his night had gone.

* * *

The next morning Emma was laying with her head down on her desk with an obvious headache. Killian sidled up next to her, delicately putting a Styrofoam cup next to her hand. She blinked up at him, the harsh fluorescent lights not helping her hangover.

"You looked like you could use a coffee, Swan. How much of last night do you remember?" he asked casually, leaning against her desk and taking a drink from his own steaming cup.

She let out a small groan and took a long drink. "I remember meeting you there and the annoying furniture guy, but after that not much. Did you walk me home?" she asked, looking at him confused.

"Aye, I did. You were a little shaky on your feet and I just wanted to be sure you were safe," he said, shrugging at her surprised expression. "I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen too, so no worries about having to yell at me with a hangover," he winked, and walked over to his desk to start on the stack of paperwork he had been given.

"Thank you," she said softly to his back. When she wasn't looking, he stole a glance at her and saw the barely-there smile on her face as she looked at the coffee in her hands.

She was a mystery for sure, and he really did love a challenge. Maybe there was an easier way to get Emma Swan to talk to him, he thought, shaking his head in a futile attempt to get her off his mind.


	14. Chapter 14

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "We're the only two staying in this dorm over the holidays"  
 _AN: So I'm sorry I updated this way late. I've been home the last couple days and getting ready for Christmas and catching up with friends I haven't seen in a year. Plus yesterday I got sick and didn't feel like writing. I still intend to post 25 fics, it's just highly likely I will not be finished by Christmas._

* * *

The holidays really aren't great if there's no one to spend them with and it's hard to be festive and happy about spreading good cheer when you don't have anyone to love. At least that's his Emma had always seen it. She had forged her way to Boston University in a scholarship, fighting everyone who told her she couldn't make it. Her determination meant little in the way of a social life and her only friends were her roommates but she didn't mind. People had a tendency to leave her anyway, so all the more reason to not get attached.

That was how she ended up the only person on her floor spending the holiday in the dorm. Elsa, Ruby, and Mary Margaret had all offered to take her home with them, but she had refused. She didn't particularly feel like being surrounded by their loving families when she had never had one of her own.

After she had helped Mary Margaret load the last of her luggage into the back of her car, she walked back into the building and instantly felt the emptiness set in. The common area, usually so full of activity, was completely empty. She walked silently to the elevator, intending to hide away in her room for the next three weeks.

"Hold the door, love," a voice called, and she instinctively held her arm out to stop it from closing. "Why thank you, Swan," the person said as they stepped inside and she cursed her luck because of course it would be Killian Jones of all people. He was notorious for being extremely charming and flirty with everyone, but especially her. He lived on the same floor as she did and they had mutual friends so it didn't make it any easier to act like he didn't exist.

There also was the fact that she had a tiny bit of a huge crush on him, but that was beside the point. "Jones," she said as civilly as possible. "I didn't think you would still be here."

"Yes well, my closest family is an ocean away and I do have a job. Makes things difficult," he said.

She hummed noncommittally, wishing for the elevator to move faster so she would be able to escape the heat she always felt around him. Getting involved with him wasn't worth the risk, so it was better to not get too attached. The door opened to their floor and she was stuck in the awkward predicament of walking in the same direction as him but not knowing what to say.

"When do you leave Swan?" he asked nonchalantly as they reached her room. She unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"I'm not," she said, closing the door before she could read too much into the look in his eyes that looked a whole lot like understanding. Except he had just mentioned he had a family, people that loved him unconditionally. He couldn't understand being an orphan that was never enough for anyone.

* * *

Two days later she was preparing for a late night alone in her pajamas when there was a knock on the door. Confusion swept through her because she was positive that she had signed up as one of the people staying over the break and so it couldn't be that. Then again the RA, Regina, seemed to have some vendetta against her for some unknown reason, so really it wouldn't be a surprise if the RA had come to berate her for something.

It wasn't Regina, but rather Killian that was on the other side of the door and as much as she had been expecting Regina she had not been expecting him.

"What?" she said shortly.

"I was bored and wanted to see what you were doing," he smiled as if she hadn't just been very rude.

"I was about to watch Netflix and eat pizza rolls. Nothing particularly interesting or fun," she crossed her arms over her chest.

He smiled at her and it startled her that it was completely genuine, not the typically flirty grin he wore when he spoke to her. "That actually sounds like a marvelous time. Can I join you? It's better than staring at my ceiling all day," he asked and she could see the hope in his eyes.

She hesitated momentarily. Being alone with him was exactly the kind of thing she would normally avoid. It could lead to serious conversations about pasts and broken hearts and she was not willing to go there. But then again he was standing in front of her, shifting nervously on his feet and he looked so goddamn cute when he was shy that she stood back to let him in.

He was elated, his eyes dancing with light as he walked past her. "Your suite is so much cleaner than mine," he observed, looking around the living area. "We have pizza boxes and dirty laundry piled on our couch."

"We're girls what did you expect? We actually do our dishes and own a broom," she teased.

"Hey, I am very tidy. I do dishes quite frequently, thank you very much," he said, pointing a finger at her and tapping her on the nose. "It's probably Mary Margaret that cleans up after all of you don't try to lie.

"I resent that. And here I was about to offer you pizza rolls." She said sarcastically.

"Woah woah woah, no need to be hasty, Swan. I apologize for any slight perceived or otherwise," his tone was light but she felt the sincerity in his words. She just rolled her eyes at him, shoving his shoulder to move towards the tiny kitchen area.

Two hours and a box of pizza rolls later, and Killian was still on her small couch with her. They had made it through the first season of Parks and Rec and she was in the process of falling asleep on his shoulder.

"I'll head back to my room love. You look like you could use some sleep and I don't want to overstay my welcome," he whispered, sliding away from her slowly.

She couldn't help the pang of disappointment that he was leaving. "You can come back to you know. You're right, it does get kind of boring being alone all day," she said softly, trying to come off as nonchalantly as possible.

He seemed to see right through her. "You know Swan, if you want to get close to me you just have to ask," he raised an eyebrow at her, the flirty grin that set off the butterflies in her stomach stretching across his face.

She did her best to hide how affected she was by him. "Please. I just don't like being here all alone," she scoffed. She didn't realize until after the words were already out that she probably didn't want him knowing that. To his credit, he just smiled at her and nodded before standing to leave. She really tried not to notice the way his shirt rose up to reveal the strip of skin above the waistband of his jeans when he stretched his arms over his head. Hey, she was a young college student and he was insanely attractive so she gave herself a pass.

He turned around as he walked out the door, facing her as he backed into the hallway. "Goodnight, Swan."

"Night," she said softly as the door swung closed.

* * *

The next few days passed similarly; he would come over to her room and they would watch Netflix or he would talk about work or their roommates (but never their pasts, she noticed). She once borrowed a sweatshirt from him and she wore it all the time. She would deny it to anyone that asked, but she kind of liked the way it smelled like him.

It was Killian's idea to see how many rules they could break. They turned up their speakers as loud as possible, stayed in each other's rooms past midnight, they went in the public bathrooms to see which one was more disgusting. He came to her door one day and held out a pair of roller skates to dare her to race down the hall. She fell and ended up losing the race, but when he took her to his room so he could take care of the carpet burn on her palm it didn't feel like she had lost at all.

Christmas Eve arrived and brought with it a blizzard that turned the city into a ghost town. Killian's knock on her door wasn't unexpected, but the face he wore when she answered the door was. He looked more distraught than she had ever seen him, his hair sticking up at wild angles.

"Killian, are you okay?" she stepped back, pulling him into her room.

"Aye, love. I'm just not particularly fond of storms, of any kind really. I'm sorry to have bothered you," he said softly, scratching behind his ear.

She shook her head and nodded towards the couch. "It's no trouble at all, Killian. I was actually about to go over to your room anyway," she said truthfully. She had in her head an image of the two of them on the futon in the living area of his suite with mugs of hot chocolate waiting for midnight and Christmas to arrive, but that could just as easily be recreated in her own room.

She busied herself making the hot chocolate and handed him a mug when it was done. She reached across his lap to get her computer and turn on Netflix to continue their marathon tradition. They were almost done with Friends and he had talked her into watching Lost when they were done. At some point, she was curled up with her head on his shoulder and his fingers drawing lazy circles on her arm.

The wind thrashed the branches from the tree outside the window and he startled against her. He startled and his hand gripped her arm. "Killian, are you sure you're okay?" she asked, laying her hand over his chest. His heart beating rapidly and she saw the tension in his jaw.

"I'm fine, Emma. Like I said, it's just that storms bother me," he tried to relax, but she could still feel the tension in his shoulders.

"You know you can't lie to me," she said, reaching up to run the back of her fingers over his cheek. She could see the furrow in his brow as he considered what she said. Eventually he sighed and spoke.

"Back before I came to school here, I was living near London. I had my brother Liam and a girlfriend named Milah and they were the most important people in my life. One winter, we were all coming back from town and a storm came out of nowhere. The visibility was horrible and another car came around a turn too fast and hit us. I was the only one that survived," he finished, his voice growing thick towards the end and he refused to meet her eyes. She was reeling from his confession and there was an ache in her chest for him.

"But you said your family was in England though," was the first thing she could think of to say. He let out a humorless laugh.

"I didn't say they were alive though," was his response. He stood suddenly and she felt the loss of contact immediately. "I know you're not particularly fond of talking about the past so I can just go back to my room-" he started to turn away from her and she grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"I grew up in foster care," she blurted out. He turned back to her, shock written on his face. She had never shown any sign of wanting to talk about her childhood or anything that happened prior to college. "My parents left me on the side of a road. I had a family until I was three and then they had their own kid so they sent me back. I had no one and it's why I'm not used to people showing interest in me," she finished.

He sat back down next to her. "I can't imagine, Emma," he started, and she cut him off.

"I didn't tell you so that you could pity me, Jones, I told you so that you would understand you're not alone," she said quickly. Her voice was maybe a little stern, but he didn't seem too bothered.

Instead, he leaned in and brushed his lips softly over hers, so gently that she wondered for a moment if he had actually kissed her at all. She leaned into him and kissed him more firmly and tangling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

He broke the kiss first, both of them breathless. Emma was the first of the two of them to form words to speak. "Isn't there some quote about broken edges of two people fitting and making a whole?" she said, only half joking, and nudging his nose with hers.

"If I can make you believe one thing, it is that you are not half. You are a whole all on your own, maybe with a few cracks but those only show that you've survived," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her watch beeped, signaling midnight had arrived, bringing the holiday with it.

"Merry Christmas, Killian," Emma whispered.

"Happy Christmas, Emma," he answered, leaning in to kiss her again.


	15. the traveling man

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: This is actually an alternate ending to the first fic that was posted here (the girl with no name). Both of them are equally canon in my head, so I'm leaving it up to the reader to decide which they think happened (although I have a guess).

* * *

Emma Swan had grown up believing she would never be enough for anyone. She'd been bounced around between homes and distant relatives that wanted nothing to do with her and by the time she was a teenager, she had accepted that everyone would leave her behind and she could only count on herself.

She thought Neal would be the exception. He had made her feel important for the first time in her life and she had loved him for it. She loved him for the crinkles by his eyes when he laughed and the way he understood what it meant to be broken and unlovable. She thought for a while that he was going to be it for her, that if there were such things as happy endings, then he was hers. But he left just like everyone always did and she was left with nothing but a freshly cracked heart and the baby growing inside her.

After Henry was born she concluded that _he_ was the closest she would get to a happy ending. It was a struggle to support a child while she was in college on what money she could scrounge together from odd jobs and working as a waitress, but it was all made worthwhile when he would smile at her.

When Henry was two, Emma's roommate Mary Margaret convinced her to come out to a Christmas party with her and David. The woman had been Emma's closest friend and was always eager to help with Henry when it was needed and didn't mind living with a toddler nearly as much as was reasonable. Emma allowed her friend to curl her hair and pick out her dress.

She spent the first few hours awkwardly tagging along with Mary Margaret and David, feeling very much the third wheel. She loved both of them, and she knew they both cared about her, but being around a happily engaged couple was exhausting. She was about to tell them she was leaving when a man approached her. He had dark hair and stunning blue eyes, and she had noticed him from across the room a couple times throughout the night.

"Excuse me," he said, his voice accented. She wasn't the type to swoon over British accents but on this guy she was tempted to make an exception. "I was wondering if perhaps I could have the honor of a dance with you?" he asked, his eyes hopeful but his smile betrayed how nervous he was.

Emma felt the walls she was used to start to creep up. She didn't know this guy, but she felt so tempted to take his hand and let him lead her to the dance floor. She just couldn't let herself be hurt again, and she had Henry to focus on. He must have picked up on her uncertainty because his face fell and he was about to back away when Mary Margaret put her hands on her shoulder

"Go," she whispered gently, nudging her towards the man. Emma took his hand so he could lead her to the center of the room, and she could have sworn there was something that clicked when their hands touched.

"I admit, I was a little uncertain there for a second, love. I've been working up the courage to ask you for a while now," he said as he put his hand gently on her waist, keeping a modest distance between them.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to either. You can thank my friend for that," she said, smiling for the first time around him.

"Tell her I am forever grateful," he smiled back at her, and she relaxed into his touch. He was so easy to be around, and she couldn't explain why she felt so safe with him but she liked the feeling.

One dance led to another, and then another and he seemed just as reluctant to let her go as she was to leave. She dragged him to the edge of the room at one point so she could rest her feet and they sat together on the uncomfortable chairs the hotel had put out and talked.

Her foster care days slipped out, but he didn't pity her as she had expected. Instead, he told her about how his brother had been the one to raise him. When she asked if he was going to see his brother for the holidays, he looked down at the floor and swallowed hard before saying a simple "No." It was the only explanation she needed. She learned that he loved the sea and that he traveled the Atlantic Coast for work but had always dreamed of getting a boat and sailing. She learned rum was his drink of choice and that he hated Peter Pan.

When everyone else had left, they were dancing alone in the ballroom of the hotel after the band had left and he wasn't holding her at a modest distance anymore, not that she cared. She was leaning into him completely, her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped firmly around her waist. For the first time in a long time, she didn't want to be the one to leave first, but she had to. She had Henry, and this guy didn't know about him. He would surely back away if he knew about her son and she couldn't allow herself to hope, so she forced herself to pull away from him.

Ever the gentleman, he insisted on calling her a cab since her ride had left hours ago, and he stayed with her in the lobby until it pulled up at the hotel entrance. He opened the door for her and she leaned in to cut off his goodbye with a kiss, sweet and chaste, but the kind that was felt long after it was over.

"Goodnight," she whispered, her forehead still resting against his, breathing him in for as long as she could.

As the cab pulled away, she stared out the back window, watching him watch her leave. She couldn't clearly see his face, but his body language told her that he regretted letting her walk away. She felt it too.

Later, after she arrived home and checked on Henry and settled into bed late, thankful that the next day was Christmas and she had the day off, she realized she had never learned his name, and had never given him hers.

* * *

 _Stupid holiday traffic_ , Emma cursed, practically sprinting down the sidewalk to the diner. She didn't blame David and Mary Margaret in the least for being late and thank goodness Ruby would be understanding, but she still hated being late for anything. She was still going to school and she had taken the job at the diner part time so she could have some spare money and have a way to pay rent for the small apartment she had for her and Henry.

She hurriedly pushed the door to the diner open, the cheerful bell announcing her arrival. "Ruby I am so sorry, Mary Margaret and David were stuck in traffic and I couldn't leave Henry alone," she panted, slightly breathless from her run. She walked hurriedly behind the counter, swapping her coat for Ruby's red apron and pulling her hair into a rushed ponytail.

"It's not like he'd get into trouble, that boy is the most well behaved five year old I think I've ever met," Ruby teased. "But it's really no trouble, it's been slow around here anyway. Although if you had been on time, you would have met this really attractive guy. I mean he's basically in love with this girl he met a few years ago, but he was still nice to look at."

Emma couldn't help an eye roll. Ruby was always trying to get her to date, but she couldn't find it in her to try. Neal had broken her heart, and the only guy she had ever considered anything with was long gone and she had no way of finding him. If he would even want her after three years. "No matter how many times you try to set me up, you know Henry is the only man I have time for right now," she said, her way of brushing off her well-meaning friend.

"I know that's what you've said, but there has to have been at least one guy you've met since Henry was born that made you reconsider," Ruby said from the coatrack near the door.

Emma unwillingly paused at her friend's words, taken back to that night where she had felt safe and wanted, his face swimming in her mind and the memory of his kiss making her want more.

"You're thinking about him right now, aren't you?" Ruby smiled, smug as ever.

Emma huffed. "Okay, yes, there was one guy and I can't get him out of my head, but it was one night three years ago. He asked me to dance at a Christmas party Mary Margaret dragged me to and it was one of the best nights of my life but he travels for work and I never caught his name so there's pretty much no chance I'll ever find him again," she said, resigned.

Ruby was standing stock still, halfway through pulling on a glove. "Emma, what did this guy look like?" she said cautiously.

"Why does that matter?" Emma sighed, shaking her head.

"Ugh, I'm trying to help you get your happy ending here," Ruby exclaimed, only adding to Emma's confusion. "British accent? Scruffy with dark hair? Blue eyes like you would not believe that make you want to drown in them?" Ruby listed.

Emma was staring open-mouthed at Ruby. "Yeah, how do you know all of that, I've never told anyone about him?"

Ruby practically squealed and rushed back across the room to grab Emma by the arm. "He was here. The attractive guy that I mentioned that was half in love with this girl he met at a Christmas party? That was him, I'm sure of it. He travels for work too, he told me. Emma come on, he's at the train station, he's leaving, don't let him get away again," she pulled hard, urging Emma toward the door.

She felt as if the world was crashing in. He really had been here? By Ruby's account it was him- their stories matched and the guy she described sounded exactly like the man she had danced with. Emma was fighting the urge to get her hopes up, but it was proving difficult. It could really be him.

She barely registered Ruby flipping around the 'Closed' sign and locking the front door of the diner. "Emma, get it in gear, we have to go!" her voice pulled Emma from her thoughts. She shook herself and before she could talk herself out of it, Emma found herself in the passenger seat of her friend's car and swerving onto the road that led to the train station.

Any sort of destination in a metropolitan area is hectic, but factor in it being Christmas Eve and it was going to be nigh on impossible to find anyone in the chaos. Ruby pulled her over to the board that had a list of all the arriving and departing trains, and began scanning through the list.

"Okay so he left the diner about 20 minutes ago and said he had a train to catch so it has to be leaving relatively soon. He goes up and down the coast so that narrows it down…" Ruby was babbling in her ear, trying to come up with any number of destinations he could have and how they should split up to look for him, but Emma's eyes narrowed on one single city.

"Portland," she said simply, interrupting Ruby who turned to her with a raised eyebrow. "He's going to Portland because it's an hour away from Storybrooke where we met. He's going back to the hotel," she insisted.

"It leaves in half an hour, if you're sure then let's get going." This time, Ruby doesn't have to pull Emma in the direction they need to go.

* * *

Killian was waiting for his turn to board the train to Portland. Three years, and he desperately hoped that the mystery girl would think along the same lines that he did. He'd spent years hoping to see her and his conversation with Ruby in the diner had only added fuel to the fire of his need to find her. He wasn't sure if he believed in soulmates or love at first sight, but if anything came close, it was what he had felt when he met her.

He was cleared to board and he settled into his seat, looking out at the bustling crowd of people arriving or leaving for their holiday celebrations with their families. He had grown used to the absence of such a thing in his own life, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't feel alone on occasions such as this.

He caught sight of someone jumping around on the platform, looking around through the crowd, and upon closer inspection he realized it was Ruby. He hadn't forgotten his wallet or his bag, so he couldn't think of any reason she had to be at the station, unless she was meeting up with someone (although he suspected she would have mentioned it). It was only when she turned toward the woman tugging on her arm that the breath left his lungs.

It was her. The girl he had been looking for all along was there, with Ruby no less. He spared an extra moment to watch them, saw the dejected look on the blonde woman's face and her nodding toward the exit, trying to pull Ruby with her. He didn't wait any longer before rushing to get back to the platform.

* * *

Next to Emma, Ruby was jumping up to see over the crowd. The train left in ten minutes and there was no sign of him and Emma was beginning to grow hopeless. Who was she kidding? Her life wasn't some grand adventure or romance where two people that were destined to be together found their way. She didn't get to have the dramatic reunion of chasing someone down and finding them and being swept off her feet. It just wasn't in the cards for her.

"Ruby, come on. I need to get back to the diner," she said, tugging on her friend's arm.

"Emma you can't just give up!" Ruby exclaimed. "He's here, you said so yourself now keep trying. Maybe go try looking further down the train."

"Not everyone has had an easy life you know. Some of us have had to scrape by and come to terms with the fact that the world is cold and hard."

"Emma-" Ruby started, her eyes looking over her shoulder.

"I do have a kid to think about, remember? I have to think about what's best for him and bringing a guy around probably isn't that, I don't know why I let myself get dragged into this," she was talking more to herself now than to Ruby.

" _Emma_ -" she tried again.

"No you know what, I don't need someone to come into my life and be my other half and make me whole again or whatever else people talk about. I need to get back to work," she finished, turning around and walking straight into the solid body behind her.

The stranger's arms steadied her by her shoulders and she looked up to apologize before stopping in her tracks. "There's no real need to make someone whole if they already are on their own, love."

"I tried to tell you," Ruby teasingly scolded, but Emma hardly heard her, too distracted by the fact that it was _him_ and he was _here_. Somehow, the universe had conspired for them to find each other and damn it, she was having a hard time denying the fact that maybe there were cosmic coincidences and that stars aligned to make things happen the way they were destined to be and it was all because she had managed to cross paths with this man again.

She was distracted by the sound of the hissing brakes on the train and the steady chug as it began to pull away from the platform. "You missed your train," she said dumbly, still staring at the face she hadn't been able to forget for three years. Distantly, she registered Ruby backing away and leaving them alone.

He shrugged. "I was going back to Storybrooke to look for you anyway," he said, lifting one hand from her shoulder to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear. Her chest tightened because he really had been thinking about her, had been unable to forget about her as much as she had with him.

"I figured. It's how I knew to come here to look for you," she breathed, leaning into his space.

He didn't hesitate to lean down and kiss her, three years of pent up emotion coming out at once. Her arms were tight around waist and he was cradling her cheek as if she was the most precious thing in the world, the gentleness contrasting with the fierceness of his lips on hers.

"You said you had a son. He's the reason you walked away that night, isn't he? Because you felt you had to put him first?" he said when he pulled away, not letting her go far. He said it more as a statement than a question though.

Emma nodded. "He's the most important thing in the world to me. He comes first, always," she insisted, meeting his eyes.

He read in the set of her jaw and the fierceness of her eyes her underlying meaning; if she was open to anything with him, it would be up to the boy to determine how things went. He nodded his ascension and kissed her again. After so long waiting and looking, her kiss was better than a cool drink of water after a trek through the desert and he would happily drown in her if he could.

"You know my name now, but you still haven't told me yours," she laughed softly against his lips.

"Killian Jones," he said instantly.

Eventually, they disentangled themselves so they could walk to the exit and for once Emma wasn't afraid of what the future would bring.

* * *

(Killian told Henry stories about his traveling days and Henry loved him for it. It only made it that much easier for Emma to tell him that she did too.)


	16. It Wasn't Fake for Me

Alternate Universe  
Prompt: "I have to bring a date to this holiday party but I'm not dating anyone so I brought my friend instead" and I took it as an opportunity to write a fake dating AU. Also my gift for bartonne on Tumblr for Captain Swan Secret Santa

* * *

Emma Swan could really do without the excessive amount of Christmas that was everywhere throughout the month of December. It wasn't that she was a Scrooge, it was just that the gaudy lawn ornaments, overly peppy music, and the consumerism that turned normal people into crazed maniacs hunting for the best deals made her want to just stay inside the whole month and avoid everyone at all cost.

Her best friend, Mary Margaret, on the other hand, was almost the complete opposite. She was at least the type of person that Emma could stomach (her decorations were a little excessive but not ugly, she hated pop versions of Christmas songs, and she adamantly refused to endanger her safety on Black Friday), but that didn't mean she didn't go a little overboard on occasion.

The two women were perusing the aisles of TJ Maxx one afternoon in mid-December when Mary Margaret informed her of the annual Christmas party she was putting on with her husband, David.

"Robin promised that he would get Regina to make her apple pie, you know how special that is. And there's a friend of David's from the station, Graham. He just moved here and he's looking to meet new people and David says he's a great guy," she babbled, doing a downright horrible job of hiding the fact they were trying to set Emma up.

Emma had to force herself to stifle a groan. "Are you sure? The last person you tried to set me up with was a 'great guy' too, and he turned out to have a psycho ex-girlfriend and an unhealthy obsession with the Wizard of Oz," she pointed out.

Mary Margaret was slightly affronted. "Walsh was a rare exception. I found David and need I remind you who introduced Ruby and Belle? My track record speaks for itself. And I just want you to be happy," she insisted, stopping the cart to lay a gentle hand on Emma's elbow.

"Well it doesn't matter, because I'm kind of seeing someone anyway," she lied offhandedly, and she regretted the words the instant they passed her lips.

"Emma, why didn't you say anything earlier?" Mary Margaret exclaimed, her excited squeal drawing the disapproving glances of several nearby shoppers. The brunette ignored them, instead throwing rapid-fire questions at Emma. "What's he like? Is he handsome? Wait, I don't know him, do I?"

"It's nothing serious, I promise," Emma said, trying to get back in line with the truth as much as possible. She honestly was not involved in any sort of serious relationship.

Mary Margaret was oblivious to Emma's sudden discomfort. "Bring him to the party. I want to meet him and I'm sure everyone else will, too," she ordered, brushing past Emma toward the front registers.

Emma was left standing behind her, marveling at the situation she had gotten herself in.

* * *

She arrived back at her apartment three hours later, laden with shopping bags from her excursion to the mall. Just as she liked it, she got all of her obligatory Christmas shopping done in one day. It meant she spent less money and also didn't have to face the madness more than once. The trek up the stairs seemed to have caused the bags to triple in weight and she was fumbling with her keys when her neighbor popped up beside her.

"Ah, Swan. I thought you weren't a fan of this holiday?" Killian Jones said, taking half of her bags from her without her having to ask him. As usual, she felt her heart speed up just a little and the downright gleeful feeling that came over her whenever he was around. It was nearly impossible to not have some sort of reaction around him, what with how absolutely attractive he was.

"I'm not, I just know how to act like it for the benefit of my friend," she smiled, unlocking the door and kicking it open. She dropped the bags she was carrying unceremoniously on the couch on her way to the kitchen, while Killian set the ones he had taken on the chair with a little more care than she had shown.

"Ah yes, the famous Mary Margaret, how is she?" he asked, flopping himself down on her couch and settling right in, which wasn't that uncommon of an occurrence, really. Ever since she had moved in and met the insanely attractive guy that lived across the hall from her, he had managed to worm his way into her life with weekly Chinese food and the occasional drinking buddy when one of them had a rough day at work. It was the main reason that she never allowed herself to think about the other feelings she felt for him that were brewing in her chest.

"You know an awful lot about my friends for never having met them," she said, leaning her head into the room as she rummaged through the fridge for the beers he had taken to keeping at her place.

He chuckled from his place on the sofa, his dark head turning in her direction. "You've only complained about how into the holiday season she is about twenty times, love. That's not including all the other stories you've told me."

She traipsed into the room, offering him one of the beers while simultaneously nudging his feet off her coffee table. "Yeah, well, I've gone and royally screwed up this time," she announced, sitting beside him and draping her legs over his. She had learned long ago that it was an extremely comfortable position that sometimes led to him rubbing her feet as she griped about her latest stake out or paperwork or the dumbass that had cut her off while driving that day. She tried to tell herself that it had nothing to do with the feelings she had on him that felt a lot like a grade school crush.

"Oh do tell. 'Emma royally screwing up' stories are my favorite," he teased, earning him a punch in the arm.

Yeah, definitely like a grade school crush.

"Mary Margaret was obviously trying to set me up with a guy David met at work and I led her to believe that I met someone," she cringed, realizing how absolutely ridiculous the situation was. Seriously, who lied about being in a relationship?

Killian on the other hand, seemed to become unnaturally stiff at her confession. "You didn't though, did you?" he asked, averting his eyes and staring instead at a loose thread on her sock.

"No, that's the problem," she said, noting how he visibly relaxed. She really shouldn't allow herself to hope that maybe her feelings weren't one sided, knowing it would only mess things up between them if she was mistaken. But sometimes he made it really difficult. "And now, Mary Margaret is insisting I bring the guy to the Christmas party she's having. I can't tell her I lied because then she'll get all pouty and I'll be a jerk and then she'll still try to set me up, and I can't bring a guy because I don't have one."

Killian pondered her situation, his fingers finding the loose thread and twirling it between his fingers. "You could bring someone with you," he began slowly as if he was trying to coax her into an idea. "You just don't have to tell your friends you're not actually dating him."

"What, bring a fake date?" she scoffed. "There's no way I could find some guy that would be willing to pretend to date me for a single night and get Mary Margaret to believe it."

"You don't have to find someone, I'll do it," he offered, trying his hardest to appear indifferent to the idea, but she knew him well enough to recognize the eagerness in his smile.

She simply stared at him, a little disbelieving that he would offer to help her. Instead of showing how touched she was, she played it off by resorting to their familiar banter. "What if I've kept you away from my friends all this time for a reason?"

"I always assumed it was because you wanted to keep me all to yourself, love," his voice lowered and his tongue ran across his bottom lip in a way that was practically obscene and turned her blood to fire. She didn't tell him that he was actually pretty spot on. She knew her friends would love him and she didn't want to have to start sharing her time with him.

So naturally her reaction was to punch him again.

"But do you really think they'll buy it?" she asked hesitantly, but she was still considering the option. They did have a way about them that could pass for a couple, but she didn't know how she would feel knowing that he was only pretending to have feelings for her while she decidedly was not.

"That depends, are you normally this violent in regards to your romantic partners?" he asked indignantly, rubbing the spot on his arm that she had struck twice now.

She did her best to appear apologetic, reaching over to rub her own hand over the red mark. "Are you sure you're up for it, Jones? I've told you about how overbearing my friends can be," she warned, wanting to give him one last chance to back out.

"Make your friends believe I'm infatuated with you? Shouldn't be too difficult," he said. Her heart rate picked up at his words, but the nonchalant way he said it made it come across like his confession wasn't any sort of grand confession at all.

Instead, she shoved down the disappointment she felt and gave him her most grateful smile. "Then it's a date."

* * *

In hindsight, bringing Killian Jones to the Christmas party may not have been the best idea.

Not that he wasn't the epitome of the perfect gentleman and winning over everyone in the room. No, it was the exact opposite. Like how he put his arm around her so casually and leaning into him felt so right or how he looked completely enamored by her. At one point he kissed her forehead as if it was the most natural thing in the world and if she was some 19th century woman in a corset, she probably would have swooned. It was messing with her head and causing her stomach to backflip every time his fingers casually brushed her arm or any time his blue eyes lit up and crinkled when he smiled at something she said.

It was perfect, but none of it was real. They lied about him being her neighbor and said they had known each other for a couple weeks rather than months. From what she could tell, no one suspected anything. She even caught Ruby giving her a discreet thumbs up when Killian was talking about soccer with Robin.

"I can tell he really likes you," David told her as the two of them stood in the kitchen, raiding the pantry in search of Mary Margaret's personal cookie stash.

Emma tried not to show how much the words cut through her. Killian may like her, but she had to believe that it was in the friendly neighbor way, not the way she felt about him.

"He's pretty great," she said honestly, trying not to let David see her face.

David eyed her curiously, but he knew her well enough to know not to push her where she didn't want to go. "Well it's nice to see you showing interest in someone. I'll still punch him in the face if he hurts you though."

"Are you saying you approve?" she raised an eyebrow. It was a rare thing that David didn't have at least one complaint about someone she showed interest in.

"I'm saying I didn't want to kick him out the moment he opened his mouth, which is actually an accomplishment," he teased.

She opened her mouth to remind him about his part in the Walsh ordeal, when Mary Margaret stuck her head into the kitchen to call them back to the living room, and also to yell at them when she found her personal cookie stash on the counter between them.

Emma spotted Killian on the other side of the living room next to the tree and he welcomed her to his side easily, taking the opportunity to lean her head on his shoulder.

"How do you think we're doing, love? Are your friends sufficiently convinced?" he whispered in her ear. His breath was warm on her face and she reveled in the closeness to him.

"I'd say they are. David actually gave you his seal of approval," she grinned up at him.

He hummed his contentment, tugging on the strands of her blonde hair at the small of her back.

"Emma, I have something for you," Ruby slid up next to them, a sly grin on her face.

She grabbed the small box suspiciously, wary of the way that everyone in the room was trying to inconspicuously watch her as she pulled at the ribbon. The moment she lifted the lid, she understood why everyone was hovering.

"Mistletoe! You guys have to kiss now," Ruby exclaimed, looking extremely pleased with herself.

"Why Ruby, I didn't know you felt this way about me," Emma joked, masking the way her stomach had plummeted and the urge to run had risen up. Not that she hadn't imagined kissing Killian, because she most definitely had. She had just never pictured it being in front of her friends while he was faking feelings for her.

He must have felt the way she tensed beside him, but with her friends staring and both of them knowing Ruby wouldn't back down, he simply tugged her closer by the waist and pressed a short, quick kiss to her lips. When he broke the kiss, he lingered in her space. For a few blissful moments, Emma reveled in the peace of being so close to him.

"An actual kiss you guys," Ruby huffed, which caused Mary Margaret to scold her from across the room.

Emma didn't think too hard before closing the minuscule distance between them to pull him tightly against her by the lapels of his leather jacket and crush his lips to hers again. He let out a short grunt and inhaled sharply before responding to the kiss, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue across hers. Her hand found its way to his hair and she let herself have a few more precious seconds of bliss before she pulled away, breathing heavily.

Robin whistled and Ruby clapped, saying that "that's what she was looking for" but all Emma could register was that Killian was breathing just as heavily as her, his warm breath fanning across her face and his hand gripping her hip tightly.

And that was when Emma knew she was totally screwed. She didn't maybe like her neighbor and one of her best friends, she definitely did. And it wasn't a schoolyard crush, it was real that could possibly develop into something more and that was when she knew for sure that she couldn't do this.

She pulled away from him with a shy smile that everyone in the room would mistake for lingering awkwardness over kissing the guy she was kind of seeing in front of all of them, but the look in Killian's eyes told her he knew it was because of something else.

If she wasn't mistaken, she thought she saw hurt and extreme disappointment flit across his face as she pulled her hand away from his.

* * *

After the party, Emma all but barricaded herself in her apartment to keep Killian out. It had hurt too much to have one afternoon where she was with him, but not with him and she just couldn't go back to how things were.

She almost broke the radio silence on the second day when he knocked on the door pleading for her to talk to him, begging for a chance to explain.

On the fourth, he was waiting for her when she came home from work, his jaw set with determination and his eyes harder than she had ever seen them. "We need to talk," he said sternly.

The look on his face didn't leave room for argument. She nodded quietly, shuffling past him to unlock her door and let him follow her in. He didn't move to what had become his spot on the couch and neither did she.

"You've been pushing me away ever since the party and I just want to know why," he insisted. Almost all the fight had left him since the hallway and he looked simply desperate.

"I just thought it would be a good idea to take a break from seeing each other so much. Sort through some things on my own," she looked down, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

He looked vulnerable when he shifted on his feet and asked "Is this about the kiss? Because I never wanted to push you, I swear to you, Emma-"

"No, no it had absolutely nothing to do with the kiss," she insisted, hearing the obvious lie in her own voice. Of course that mean that he heard it loud and clear.

"That's a lie and we both know it. You were faking having feelings for me, why would that kiss change anything?"

"Because _none_ of it was fake for me!" she threw her hands up, turning around to look at him. She could feel the sting of tears beginning to prickle behind her eyes. He stared at her, his expression void of any emotion save confusion.

"I like you, okay?" she shrugged. "I like eating Chinese food with you at two in the morning and falling asleep on the couch watching crappy TV. I like falling asleep on you because you carry me to bed and I like when you fall asleep first and we end up staying on the couch all night, and part of it is because you make breakfast and your pancakes are the best, but the other part is because I like waking up with your arm around me. I like how you make me feel important and like I don't have to change or be anything but myself with you." A stray tear escaped and ran down her cheek but she didn't move to brush it away because she was so intently focused on him, trying to gauge his reaction.

Killian had watched her with increased amazement for the duration of his confession, but it was the tear that spurred him into action. He took two long steps towards her and had her in his embrace in seconds. His fingers tangled in her hair as he pulled her closer, her nose pressing into the hollow of his throat and he brushed a kiss across her forehead.

"Why do you think it was so easy for me to pretend at the party? I've been half in love with you since you yelled at me for making you drop that stack of case files the week you moved in," he said, his thumb swiping the solitary tear from her cheek.

Emma pulled back, astounded. He chuckled at her incredulity. "Come, love, you can't have honestly believed those were platonic foot rubs," he joked, running his hands down the length of her arms from her shoulders to tangle their fingers together.

"I mean I kind of hoped they weren't," she muttered honestly, leaning into him and breathing in the scent that was uniquely him.

He laughed again, a small breathy thing that hung in the space between them, making the tension thicker than it already was. "I don't want to push you, but does this mean I can stop hiding how much I care for you?" he asked, letting go of one of her hands to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. He looked so open and hopeful, but she also saw utter devotion in his eyes.

"Only if I can do the same," she said, leaning her cheek into his hand.

She didn't think even the sun had ever shone brighter than the smile that stretched across his face.

"It's a deal," he said, and he leaned down to kiss her, softer and slower and deeper than the one they had shared in Mary Margaret's apartment.

So in hindsight, bringing Killian Jones to her friend's Christmas party may have been the best idea she'd had in a long time.


End file.
